blue ; gallavich

2

MICKEY

I sit down at the table next to the guy- Luke or whatever the fuck- as he looks over at me and smiles. I give him an unaffected glance as his smile fades away and he awkwardly clears his throat. Okay, he banged me yesterday but we didn't get fucking married. Stop fucking staring man.

I take my time sitting down, seeing that I'm still a little sore and Luke- or whatever- seems to notice as a goofy grin appears on his face. It reminds me of the way Ian used to look at me when he knew I was planning to pull a trick or two out of my bag. Like that time with the Ben Was or at the dugout. Everything just leads back to him, but he's probably not evening having a second thought about me.

I look down at my food- if you could even call it that- and run my fork back and forth in the mashed potatoes. I drop it as a sudden realization hits me and I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I thought that he was kidding, but Svetlana did pay Ian to see me. He looked so disinterested. God, I'm so stupid! How many other people has he fucking been with since I've been in the slammer? Was any of this shit even real?

I realize how zoned out I just was as I punch the table and fuckin' cupcake gives me a concerned look.

"The fuck you lookin' at?" I ask him as he just shakes his head in response.

"Getting mad about it ain't gonna make it better. As they say, don't get mad, get even." He replies, as I roll my eyes.

"Thank you for the advice, Dr.Phil." I say sarcastically. And anyways, how would I get even? Kill someone? Beat up Ian? Kick the shit outta that fucker who stole him from me?

The 'Louis' guy looks over at me and I raise my eyebrow at him. He sighs, obviously frustrated with my stubbornness and his failed attempts at conversation. "You excited for tomorrow?" He asks as I look at him with a confused expression.

"What's tomorrow?"

"Early release day." He grins at me suspiciously. "And I have a feeling that you are gonna be able to go see that enraging boy that you've been focusing all your energy on." He says, as I look at him wide-eyed and attentively wait for him to continue, which he doesn't. He has good vocabulary for a man in prison.

I get to see Ian. But will he be waiting for me? He promised, I think nervously.

Jesus, when did I become such a fucking girl?

Something creeps into my mind and I shudder as I think, what if Terry's back?

My heart starts beating really fast and my stomach starts to tie into knots as I stand up, trying to control my breathing. I put my hand on head and try not to fall over. I'm having a panic attack. I walk towards the door as a gaurds notices me and holds me back.

I'm not dealing with Terry again. I can't. He'll come after Ian, and though he's hurt me I have to protect the kid. I swear to God, if I see Terry I'm gonna-

"Milkovich, where do you think you're going?" The buff man asks as he looks down at my heated, red face. His expression turns more concerned as I feel my legs wobble and collapse under me. I fall and my head hits the wall hard as I groan in pain. I hear the guard call over a few others and all I see is fuckin' StalkerMcGee before I pass out into complete darkness.