blue ; gallavich

14

MICKEY

I sit down on the couch with Mr. SadSob, our knees gently rubbing up on one another though it's barely enough contact to notice. But I still see it and I smile at the thought of being this close to him again. The rest of our bodies are far, his leaning on one arm of the couch and mine on the other, our knees the only thing reminding us that we are still holding on.

"Ian." I call to him soothingly, turning my body to face his as he does the same. I see his eyes light up a smidgen, the normally dark green-blue shade a little brighter than usual. But that doesn't hide the sorrow and disappointment in his face; moping jaw, painfully hopeful eyelids, messy red hair. It's like examining a God. A really, really depressed God.

"Yeah, Mick?" He manages to shakily hush out, barely audible. My eyebrows sag sympathetically at his sad voice, my breathing becoming more shaky as I panic. I've never seen him this rugged-up before, tearing at the seams. I shove my whole body onto the couch, curling up my knees to my chin and balancing myself in a ball, my feet touching Ian's to maintain some- any- form of physical contact.

"What happened? I'm fucking worried." I admit and Ian croaks out a long, heavy sigh and turns to look straight into my eyes. I move my legs into the opening between his as he rests his heels on my thighs.

"Caleb." He mutters out. "He cheated on me. He was kissing a woman outside of his apartment." Ian informs me, no further explanation needed and no questions asked. I realize that coming to the recognition of knowing that someone doesn't love you enough to be loyal is hard, so I don't budge any further. I definitely know the feeling.

No tears slip down. No flushed cheeks. No weary sobs or tremulous breaths escape his lips after he speaks the truth. Just a pale face. Numb emotions. A tired sigh of comprehension about the situation. He stares at the blank wall and takes deep breaths, exhaling weakly and only moving to scratch an itch.

Ian scoots closer to me and leans his head on my shoulder, resting all of his weight on me as our bodies sync together. I wrap my strong arms around his waist, which feels abnormally thin, and kiss the side of his temple. I rummage a hand through his scruffy orange hair and pull him closer to me, and he obeys my movements with no resistance.

"You'll be alright, Ian. I promise. Caleb's a piece of shit, anyways. He thinks his parents are 'homophobic', try being a gay kid growing up in a house with a an alcoholic, abusive father who tries to kill you and the guy you fuck. He's lucky. Stuck with some preacher. And he thinks he's good enough for you? Fuck no, Gallagher." I rant into his hair as he relaxes his body into my chest, easing into my warm embrace. I immediately regret everything I just said because I sounded exactly like fuckin' Frank. I'm not sure what the pastor part had to do with any of this, but I felt the need to get it off my chest. Maybe make a point that he hasn't experienced shit, at least not enough shit to be authorized to support a fuckin' Gallagher.

"And you think you are? Good enough for me?" Ian gazes up at my seemingly taken expression and I nod my head ever so slightly. Honestly, I do. I could've easily abandoned him, stopped talking to him after how bad he hurt me. I could've slammed the door shut in his sad mug, but I didn't. Because when you love someone you go every step of the way with them, even if you're the one out of breath during the race. Caleb was beating me in that race but now he's fallen, slowly being trampled as I stand there and laugh over his stupid crippled body.

"Well, yeah, I mean kinda." I stutter out nervously. Ian blushes up at me, a smile tugging persistently at the corners of his mouth. He nudges me in the side with his elbow and stares up into my blue eyes.

"I do, too." He finally says, and I can't help but let out a relived gasp. He's barely smiling, but it's still visible. But through his somewhat pleased expression I can see the pain and abandonment in his eyes. His smile fades away and his chin drags down along with his eyes. "I'm still not sure what to do. I feel so... I don't know. Like, emotionally unstable."