blue ; gallavich

34

MICKEY

"Mexico?! Are you serious?!" Mandy shouts, running a hand through her blonde hair in frustration. "You're leaving tomorrow with no warning." Mandy shakes her head in disbelief, shooting Fiona a sharp glare of pure disappointment.

"Mickey, there has to be another way to-"

"Fiona, I did something really bad. If I don't leave I'll be fucked all over again." I harshly spit as my sister's eyes widen.

"What did-"

"What did I do? Well, I can't tell you that. But I can't risk your safety." I tell Mandy bluntly. My voice is weak, lacking the hyped South Side tone it usually has to it. My body and mind feels different. My heart aches and my stomach churns but I feel no regret; no grief or guilt.

"The cops can't harm me just because we're related, Mick." She says, and her voice is edgy. She might as well get on her knees and plead for me not to go.

"They're not who I'm protecting you from." I state briefly, pinching the bridge of my nose. How'd I let it get to this point? All the anger and homicidal thoughts built up for so long that I'm stuck in a pickle, making one of my hardest decisions and having an intervention with the Gallaghers.

"Who are you protecting us from, then?" Lip asks, head in hands and cocked to the side. Even a genius isn't able to figure out what happened, or how.

Even I don't remember many details beside blood, guts, and Colin being so calm about everything. Shit, even I was unnaturally calm. The way his life was drained felt as natural as breathing; as satisfying as a knife cutting through Kinetic Sand.

"I'm protecting you from me." I reply, getting many confused faces.

"Wait, what? Mickey-" Mandy begins to whine, but I shoot Lip a stern glance and he shuts her up, putting a hand on her thigh that he aggressively shakes off.

"What about Ian?" Lip asks.

Fuck. I was trying my best to avoid that topic.

"I don't know yet."

"You're not just gonna leave without telling him, are you?" Goddamnit, Fiona.

"You think I want to?" I'm getting a little angry at this point. Being on the run was not my plan and they sure as hell aren't making it any easier. "Look, I'm only doing what's best for all of you. I can't risk harming Ian in any way."

"Mick." Mandy firmly growls. I raise my eyebrow in response.

"Mandy." I shoot back.

"What the fuck is going on? Did you get a brain transplant or something?"

"What the hell is that supposed to imply?" I defend harshly, trying to reduce the deep breaths I take as I continue to fume intensely.

Calm down, Mickey. I hear Maria's voice in my head and let out a bothered grunt. That's what got you into this mess in the first place. Your anger.

"No. You are!" I scream, and I only realize I've spoken aloud when everyone turns to stare at me in utter shock. The panic in Mandy's eyes saddens me, but my body loses control as I lash out at the air, kicking a hole in the wall as my heart thumps and my veins pulsate in anger. I grab the bat off the wall and swing as the door opens, nearly hitting a stunned Ian.

He stands in the door way, ducking under his medical bag as his eyes are wide and he is in fear. I cover my gaping mouth, looking around as I drop the bat.

What the fuck is happening to me?

Ian slowly stands, walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder, which I vigorously shove off. I shake my head 'no' and rush out the door, knocking on the car door window as Colin rolls it down. "We're leaving. Now." I demand. Colin glares at me in suspicion.

"Where's the firetruck fuck?"

"Not coming. Now let's go." I say, but Colin refuses to unlock the door. Makes sense, my face is as pale as the snow I stand on, my eyes bugging out of my skull, on the brink of tears. "Don't think I won't break this fucking window."

"And don't think I won't snitch you out to the police and get the prize: twenty five grand."

Jesus, it's been raise to 25k for my arrest.

"Police?" Ian asks, stumbling down the steps and hastily limping towards me. "What are you not telling me?"

"Get in the car and I'll explain." Colin says as I shoot him a dirty glare.

"Ian you better not get in that damn car." I hiss and he stares me in the eyes, cleansing my soul of any specs of control that I felt only a few seconds before. He walks past me and opens the door, simply getting in with no questions asked.

"But Mickey said that he doesn't want to risk Ian's life. Do you think we-"

Colin cuts Fiona off, simply saying, "Fuck what Mickey said. I'll get Ian home to you safely, no ones getting hurt. That's a promise, Fiona." She bites her lip, contemplating whether or not to believe him. But Colin has always been a man of his word, and his voice is so reassuring is hard not to trust him.

"I give you two weeks. I'll kill you if he's not back by then." She demands harshly.

"Yes, ma'am." Colin nods as I get into the front seat and place my head in my hands. Everything is a mess and the worst part is I have no clue why. A week of uneasiness and the next I'm a new person. Am I bipolar? A psychopath? A sociopath? Do I have a personality disorder?

Colin hits the gas and we ride into oblivion, Ian with his knees to his chest and a can of Pringles by his side. I gradually check the rearview mirror, seeing what he's doing. His head nods a bit before he drifts off to sleep, a snore forming as his mouth bobs open and closed.

________________________________

We drive through a desert, stopping for a beer run, and get out of Chicago. It's been about six hours and we're on our way to Mexico, escaping the shit storm I've created for, not only me, but everyone. A violent silence fills the car and Colin shares occasional glances with me, worry in his sunken eyes.

"What's happening to me?" I ask suddenly, and Colin grips the steering wheel harder.

"Want the truth?" He asks as I simply nod. "You got the Maria gene. That woman was a fucking psychopath. There's people she murdered that only I- and now you- know about. She was a confirmed sociopath- insane as most said- and even dad was scared of what she could- and did- do. Maria is a killer, and now she's given you her curse."

He pauses, taking a sip of his beer as I let all of this sink in. My mother was a fucking killer. A murderer. A fucking psycho.

I am my mother.

"Ya know," he continues, "you and Ian aren't all that different. Monica and Maria gave you guys crazy genes and now you're both fucked up. The bad part is that his can be contained, but yours- as proven- can't."

"But-" I try to find a way to wrap my thumb around all of this, but I simply am left in utter confusion. "Why all of the sudden did I just snap. I feel different, Col."

"Well you spent so long trying to protect Ian that your focus was shifted when you realized what he really needed protection from. And I think that as long as you continue to feel that you or someone you love is in danger or threatened, you'll find this happening more and more often." Colin looks over at me and I sigh. He's always right, even when I don't want him to be.

"So how fucked am I?"

"Scale of 1 to 10, I'd say 150." He pauses, inhaling and within his exhale I barely miss the "thousand" he throws in.

Great. Just fantastico.