22 | What The Cat Dragged In & The Problems With Feelings

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22 | Books For Dummies, What The Cat Dragged In & The Problems With Feelings

Carter's POV (not edited)

When I first met Kaillie at the park and she said she was sorry, it hurt. If she feels like I do, why would she apologize for her actions? Yet the rest of the night, as we talked and just had a conversation, it didn't feel like we were just friends, that we were only meant to be that. It felt like we were meant to be something more. I'm fairly confident that she noticed my odd looks, but no one ever said feelings were black and white. Yes, Kaillie may be my best friend, but she's still a girl, and girls are even more confusing to read when you are taking to gauge whether or not they have feelings for you. Why is there no manual for this yet, like seriously? I feel like it could be on of those 'For Dummies' books that would apply to everyone. The title could be something like 'How To Read Girl's Feelings for Dummies' or something. The fact I'm usually pretty good at reading people makes this situation even weirder. Kaillie is my best friend, so why was reading her proving to be so hard? Is it because of everything I could lose if I judge her potential feelings wrong?

And here, I used to think I could help write the book if that was required of me. Apparently, adding in the best friend factor makes things a little more complicated.

Driving seems to be one of those things that allows me to breath when my mind is going crazy, so I bundle up and hop onto my motorcycle, even though the November weather is becoming a little too cold for it. But maybe I need the cold, to freeze the flood of thoughts in my mind so I can understand everything a little more clearly.

I drive on all different roads around town, gaining the occasional weird look that's asking me what the fuck at my choice of vehicle, and very little clarity on my situation with Kaillie. The location I end up at is on Blake's driveway, facing his front steps. He comes out the grey brick house in red and black plaid pajama pants and a T-shirt, as it's Saturday morning and he's probably taking part in his ritual of Saturday morning cartoons. Everything going on with Kaillie must be messing with my head, as I don't usually get up as early as I did this morning, and usually if I were to just appear, I wouldn't appear as early as I have this morning.

He gives me a funny expression as he meets me on the steps. "What are you doing here?" he asks, his head titled in obvious confusion as I take off my helmet and put it under my arm.

"Well hello," I greet him with a welcoming smile, "I'm making an unsanctioned visit, don't you know?" I'm not exactly sure what led me to drive here, but here I came. Maybe it was fact that I needed someone to bounce my ideas off of. Or maybe I just needed someone to chill with. Whatever the reason, I'm glad the road led me here on this cloudy day.

"Funny," he says, "I don't remember that being a thing," before giving me a typical bro hug with a teasing smile. "So, are you what the cat dragged in?"

"Yup," I tell him, smiling proudly. Especially if the cat drags in people who need to just chill out for awhile. Funny enough, a cat just happens to walk around us as we're talking about this. Yup, it was definitely the grey cat who brought me here, not my motorcycle.

He gestures for me follow him back into the house, saying "It's a little cold, so come on in." As I follow him inside, I notice the temperature of the air change from the heat of the house. Not that I didn't expect it to be warmer in here, but it's the warm atmosphere that puts a small smile on my face, considering I've just come in from the cold.

I follow him up the stairs, where his room is, but I can hear the cartoons streaming their sounds from the living room, hidden behind the wall of the hallway. The first thing I notice when I get there is the fact he's turning on his TV screen and his PS4, which means gaming, the ultimate distraction for my mind. I could focus on shooting some things for awhile. The second thing I notice is his messy bed with the covers tossed carelessly to the other side of the bed for us to sit down on. The beginning screen for Battlefield comes up.

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