Her.

Chapter 15

Beyoncé, I know that you're hurting. I know you'll be sad, but I am terribly sorry. When it's your time to go, you don't prolong it, you don't change it. I'm going to be with God, but I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. All you have to do is talk to me, baby girl. You may have not noticed it, but I saw a glimpse of happiness in you before I left. There was a smile there, and I never knew why it was there. It couldn't have been because I was refusing chemo, but it was something. I truly hope that whatever it was, you get closer to it. Let it turn that small smile knot a much bigger one. You may not realize it, but there is love all around you. People adore you, let them love you. Let them help you.

If you ever need help, you know which directions to turn to, and if you don't, just look up. We will reunite again.

I love you,

Mommy

It was the note that I read every single day since the day that I found it. It didn't say when she wrote the note, but I figured that she wrote it for whenever she left.

The funeral was that weekend. I knew that it was soon, but I wanted it that weekend. I knew that there was a possibility that Shawn wouldn't have made it, but somehow, he told Christina what happened, and she worked with him.

The funeral was beautiful. Everyone came on in support of my mother, and even a few of the students came for my support. That was probably the best thing for me. If you're wondering, yes, Idris came. He came alone, and on his own. I didn't know how w found out, but he showed up.

Shawn was like my backbone through the entire thing. He helped me with planning, and actually took over most of it, but the details...that was all me. All the song selections, the place, flowers, and what she wore, that was all me.

"You ready?" Shawn asked me as I put the note back in my nightstand's drawer. I looked at him and smirked.

"Yeah. C'mere," I said waving him toward me. I began adjusting his tie.

"I did it right," he protested.

"If you did it right, I wouldn't be fixing it," I told him.

"No, you're just a perfectionist. That's all."

"That may be true. I'm ready to go," I said before grabbing my clutch and leaving the room.

Today was the day of the senior dinner that I put together. They had their little senior breakfast, but that was during school hours. That was when they had to be supervised, and I really didn't like that. I knew they wanted to be in their own little element, so I put the entire thing together along with Shawn. We would be doing the same thing for his seniors, starting next year.

Shawn drove us to the restaurant, and we were silent for the most part. There was really nothing for us to say, because we talk a lot now. I've learned to open my mouth, which has helped us a lot.

He parked and we walked in together. It was my plan to be the last one to arrive, and I think I accomplished that. I was met with applauses, roaring, and I swear I heard whistling.

"You didn't tell me you had a lot of seniors," Shawn whispered in my ear.

"You didn't ask," I responded before going by and speaking and hugging. A few of them engaged me in conversations, but I knew that Shawn didn't want to stand, so I took him to our table. We were sharing a table with Boris and another coach, Ms. Rowland.

"You look amazing, Ms. Knowles!" Ms. Rowland beamed before embracing me into a hug.

"Thank you, thank you. You do too!"