Deen Queens

six [saleena]

SALEENA

Saleena stood on stage with her heart pounding wildly; a beast itching to be free from the shackles of her rib cage. The air around her was still, a second of silence, until it burst into an array of cheering and applause. It was almost loud enough to drown out her sorrows. She had just finished a long performance at Wembley, masses of people standing in front of her with bright eyes and awe-filled smiles.

And yet, despite the thousands of people surrounding her whispering her name, she had never felt so alone.

"Thank you," she whispered into the microphone in hand, laughing as the crowd cheered wilder and her voice grew louder. "Thank you all so much for being part of such a fantastic performance. It's been a pleasure being up here with you all, I hope you've all enjoyed it and have an amazing night. Thank you, again!

Her heart welled at the smiles around her, glinting in the darkness of the stadium. She truly did enjoy the preforming part of her career; the flutters in her heart with nerves as she first walked on stage, the adrenaline as she sang, the pouring of her soul through her lips and definitely the reaction of her fans. What she couldn't stand, however, was everything that came after it.

There were always hordes of reporters backstage, waiting to pounce on her like vultures circling their prey. And despite the fatigue she felt following such a large scale performance, she still had to put on a smile and act her part. Saleena had learnt long ago that she had no choice but to be cheery constantly; she had to appear soft-spoken and sweet to the public. Her name, her faith and her skin colour had ensured that from the very first day, she would be scrutinised so much more heavily than those around her.

You have to work twice as good to get half of what they have.

The very first time Saleena had heard that quote on Scandal, she had felt chills running up her spine and since that day, she had retained the motto. It spoke of the perils of being an anomaly in a White-washed world and for the industry she was in, well, it was perfect. Mediocrity would be rewarded within Hollywood and the music industry, as long as it came in a pretty white package. Whereas someone like her – with her golden skin and Muslim name – would always be regarded with suspicion.

Whilst Saleena wasn't a horrible person naturally, of course, she wasn't anywhere near as soft or as kind as she pretended to be. She didn't particularly want to fake an entire personality to the world but she'd seen enough 'Zayn Malik Joins ISIS Following Leaving One Direction' jokes to understand how the industry worked. If she wasn't the picture of the perfect girl next door, they would assume she was a volcano waiting to erupt.

Or more accurately, a bomb in their minds.

In all the time she had known Zayn, he'd always been an all-round nice guy. He was pretty quiet, always friendly and a very family-orientated person and yet, that hadn't stopped the media from ripping him apart. The only remotely positive nouns used to describe him were exotic and mysterious which, to her, practically screamed fetishisation. And the same mystery that they used to dress up his foreign-ness – despite him being half White – was the one they used in a negative manner when it was time to turn on him.

Music was a fickle career path, truth be told.

People loved Britney and then they hated her. Beyoncé was their idol until she spoke about things that affected her community and then suddenly, she was a monster. Miley could be almost naked and it would be artistic or imaginative but on Nicki it was described as scandalous. And don't even get her started on the shit Kesha had to put up with!

With a sigh, she dabbed her forehead slightly in an attempt to wipe the sweat away without smearing her makeup as she walked off the stage. After all, someone was bound to find a way to take pictures of her for the world to pick apart until she was an unravelling of insecurities.