The Bad Couple

"Excuse me." I tap my spoon against my wine class to catch the attention of the guests. "Thank you. I know my best man is supposed to make a speech but I'd like to say something right before he does. In honor of my new wife and I, I'd like to thank you all for coming and witnessing the only woman I've ever loved make our relationship official with the government."

I asked Zosia to marry me three times over the four more years we've spent together. First was when we were sophomores in college. She said no because she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to get married, we were only  twenty years old after all. I asked a year later on our three year anniversary. This time she declined because we were knee deep in debt, had almost nothing figured out, and Thaddeus was only three. Finally on Thaddeus' fourth birthday I popped the question once again, in front of everyone hoping she wouldn't decline again, and with a small smile and pink cheeks she accepted.

That was three weeks ago.

Zosia pulls me down and shushes me. Grohl stands up, scratches his beard, and smiles at the crowd. "Well, let's just say I've know Nico, here, since we were ankle biters. We're grown now, married, having kids, moving on. But this guy right here still makes sure we have Sunday night football parties, children and wives and all. He's a hell of a man who certainly lucked out and snatched such a beautiful woman. To Nico and Zosia."

The guests follow his toast and drink. Nicole Shore stands up next, Weeze, her boyfriend of many years, looking up at her like she put the stars in the sky. He's madly in love with her and she's just as crazy about him.

"I used to be so jealous of Nico and Zosia back when they first got together. I wanted to hate her, hate them, they had everything I wanted. But I got to know the woman I now call my best friend and I can see why Nico fell so hard and so fast for her. She's a true beauty, inside and out, despite her short temper when it comes to her husband. I'd like to raise a toast for not just Zosia and Nico, but for their love. May it last for eternity."

I look over at Zo and see tears pool in her eyes. My gaze casts over to Thaddeus and my mom sitting at the closest table to ours. He's a spitting image of his mother, and I know our daughter will be a mirror image of her as well.

Oh I didn't mention that she's six months pregnant, did I?

Nicole sits and I stand again. Zosia groans, and much to her embarrassment she didn't go unheard. A few chuckles are thrown her way. She's already tired of me and we've been married for two hours.

"I'm going to speak again, ignoring the fact that my wife hates me already." I look down at her and she smiles sarcastically at me. "We weren't good kids. We were trouble makers and ended up in jail a few times. We smoked, drank, and had a baby in high school. But somehow we managed to stay together. You can see we're still getting in trouble. We got quite a stern talk from a police officer for getting a little too excited in our car." A punch is delivered on my arm. My face twists in pain. Okay, I deserved that.

"She is bad. And I am bad. We are the best kind of bad: the bad couple." Smiles form on our guests' faces.

They follow my toast. "To the bad couple!"

started// july.5.2016
finished// july.19.2016