Smoke [Haylor AU]

Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Taylor's POV

"I know, I know, I just know
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No."

"Jake..." I murmur. I couldn't tell at what times I was conscious during the night. Thoughts of Jake flooded into my mind.

"Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong"

He promised that everything was going to be fine and it was far from fine. Jake was part of the reason that I had changed. These dreams were not exaggeration of our relationship. The things that he had done to me and to others were scarring, how could I forget them? The flashbacks and dreams were part of that scarring. I didn't tell anyone about these dreams because I felt as if they would see me as dramatic and hysterical. I would be haunted by these nightmares because they were the way that I was recollecting all the memories I was working to suppress. Everything had happened months ago, but I could have sworn that it was yesterday.

"Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted"

"I am so very sorry," I whisper to Harry when he opens his eyes.

"Don't be, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," He reassures me. The green in his eyes are bright compared to the cloudy weather peaking through my window.

"Please don't tell anyone, including Niall or any of the other boys in your band," I beg as we both sit up.

"Why would I?' He asks with a scowl.

"I don't know, I just don't need anyone finding out," I huff.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you to think I'm a bad guy. I don't need any doubts while we're working on our friendship," He clarifies.

"I didn't mean for it to come off that way! I am actually very grateful that you were here, I've never been alone during a nightmare," I explain.

"How long have you had them?' He questions. I pull my legs to my chest and pause for a moment.

"I've been having them for a few months. When my mom first found out she took me to counseling. But I don't think I'm ready to talk about it. What is talking going to do?" I rant.

"Why do you have these nightmares?' He asks.

"I told you that I'm not ready to talk about it. I hate the idea that I could get close to someone again and risk another heartbreak," I mention and turn my attention to my bedroom window.

"Heartbreak?' I hear the curiosity in his voice and I pull the duvet over my legs.

"Yeah, I am trying to hard to forget about it but it's been hard for me. Especially because the boy I was seeing called it off," I explain and I can feel my cheeks flush.

"Is that why you came home crying the other day?' He asks breaking the silence.

"I guess that was part of it. I can't stay in a specific place that triggers memories...and he took me there and I just broke down. That's why I was crying and probably why he called it off," I say after another long pause. why was I telling Harry this? Granted I didn't really elaborate but it still felt foreign to me.

"Was it that douche bag you were kissing by the lockers?' Harry asks. It seemed like he had too many questions

"He's not a douche bag, his name is Joe...He's sweet but I don't think I was really ready to date again anyway," I reply.

"Oh I see, why don't you consider talking with someone?" He suggests.

"No thank you," I refuse. Harry then arises from the bed and I realize that he is only wearing a pair of black boxers.