Amanda And John [EN] (SAW FANFIC)

#5

Maybe she should leave.

Amanda was slightly surprised at his reaction;yet, at the same time she wasn't surprised at all. She knew he was calm at moments like this. She completely ignored him, though, and moved the blade closers to the inside of her thigh, inches away from her sex.

She cut straight narrow lines into herself like she couldn't feel a thing. She looked dazed, as she gazed at the new wounds. They spit blood.

The memories enthralled her senses in an overwhelming way. She closed her eyes tightly and screamed.

Amanda threw the knife across the room, then her hands tracing over every cut she made. She had suffered so much these past few months.

She felt something touching her shoulder;then warmth.

John placed one of his hands on her back, rubbing soothing circles. She needed comfort right now, he realised, and hopefully he was good enough to give it to her. His other hand lowered to hers, grasping it gently as he let her fall upon his chest.

Amanda began to weep again, which made John wince. He hated tears. Too many tears had he seen shed on his account when he discovered he had cancer a little over year ago. The news had torn apart his life and will to live placed it back together again.

'Why are you crying, Amanda? ' he finally asked, staring down at the blood covering his hands as he rubbed her hands gingerly.

Amanda looked up at him, her light brown eyes reddened and damped by the wetness.

'I don't know, John. I just don't know why. Everything is so... so fucking confusing... ' she spat those words out as if they were poison in her mouth. She sniffed and rested her head on his soft chest again. She nuzzled into him. Getting lost. Pretending nobody, not even John, could see her at her weakest moment.

John' s caress from her back rose to her long hair, petting her head gently as he comforted the only thing his life held any worth anymore.
'I know it's all very confusing, Amanda, but I warned you from the beggining that this wouldn't be an easy task to accomplish... '

He clenched his eyes shut as Amanda let out a new outburst of tears.