Amanda And John [EN] (SAW FANFIC)

#7

Amanda simply shrugged again.

' Amanda, ' John starded'... You can talk to me. Tell me why are you' re doing this. 'She looked at John in the face then down at her feet.

' I don't know, John. It feels so good. I feel hurt on the inside all time and always feel so fucking relieved whenever I feel that first cut... '

She was so pitiful, she thought. She signed deeply and looked into John's eyes; his beautiful blue eyes.

'  You know... ' he inhaled deeply'  You know, you don't deserve that'

He grabbed her by her tiny hand and squeezed it. 'You passed the test; you earned a second chance at life. It' s depressing to see you wallow in sadness all of the time. You were given something precious, something that few people get. You were given a second chance, Amanda. Why can't you make the most if that? '

He coughed for a few moments. He was sick. His pain truly never ending. Damn the cancer; damn everything about it.

Amanda reached over and caressed his cheek softly.'' Yes, I was given a second chance '' she replied ''... You saved my life; I was too busy drugging my pain away to realize I was wasting my life away. You' ve done everything for me. I owe you everything. I do, John, I really do. ''

Her eyes glistened for a moment. She loved this man like she never loved anyone before. He had given her everything on a silver platter. Why couldn't she be more grateful?

John placed his hand on hers, which was rested on his cheek. A smiled tugged at his lips. '' You don't owe me anything. All I did was to nudge you in the right direction. You were always something more to me than a test subject.''

He moved her hand toward his mouth and kissed it lightly.

''From the moment I saw you and decided I would save you, I knew I would always be here with you. ''

Amanda sniffed as tears brimmed in her eyes. He did care. She leaned over and kissed his cheek softly, causing his face to gain more color. Was he blushing? She wondered, but she didn't say anything to point out any attention to his blushing face.

''Thank you, '' she finally muttered breaking the silence. '' You've given me everything I've ever needed. I don't know why I am so discontent...''

She was lying. She knew exactly why. Amanda was addicted to the pain, but she would never let him know that.