14/02/2009….It was a Saturday
I had thought I would get to meet Monish, but he was busy…
We could not even wish each other on Valentines’ Day…
He was busy with his library dissertation and thesis preparation.
I was clingy and I used to overthink over petty things…
I was hurt a lot that day ‘cause Monish neither wished me nor called me up…
I was angry on myself too!!!
Why the hell did I keep waiting for his call… I could have called him up and wished him…!
Disha always used to indirectly ask me regarding my feelings for Monish and I was really silly ‘cause I either changed the topic or denied…
At that time, I thought that may be Disha liked Monish, perhaps not as much as I did, but yes she surely liked being with him…
Dr. Disha Monish Shah…
B.D.S
I used to tease Disha with Monish…
“Dr. Disha Kothari to Dr. Disha Shah…
D.D.S..”
I had never thought that my joke would not remain a joke some day…
1st March.
It was Monish’s birthday that Sunday…
I so wanted to go to Ahmedabad to wish Monish, but my sister’s board exams were commencing on 5th March…
I ought to be at home and I could not afford to be selfish…
Monish was certainly a priority, but my sister needed me more in those days…
Monish had other friends too, but my sister had just one “Diii”…
I was at Valsad from 28th February to 10th March…
Disha called me up on 1st March and informed me that she was going to give Monish a surprise…
I was surprised.
Even I wanted to make 1st March 2009 special for Monish…After all, it was his 25th birthday…
I wanted to call up Monish’s best friend Vaibhav and plan out a birthday bash for him but somehow I just could not make that call. I was scared that Monish would take me wrong… or Vaibhav would think otherwise…
I wanted to talk to Monish about my feelings but I was scared…
I was scared of rejection… I was scared of expressing my feelings…
I missed Monish but I could not tell him how much I did…
We were obviously friends but he no longer teased me with the names “S.G”…
He did not call me idiot any more…
There was a time when he used to pull my legs and annoy me with silly names, call me Rimshu-Pishu…
I miss all those names which bothered me the most at that point of time…
May be we drifted apart ‘cause he was stuck with studies…
I’m yet to figure it out… or perhaps I am scared to accept the reality ‘cause I won’t be able to handle it…
I could not even call him M.D.S…
I missed him too much… and if that meant love, I was way too deep in love with Monish…
And the real question that stood in front of me was “Does Monish love me???”
“Did he love me in the moments we had?”
“Will he ever fall for me the way I have???”
I used to keep asking my heart “Dear heart, why Monish???”
