Yes, I Am

Chapter Eight.

Midnight.

Clocks are always ticking. Time is always moving. When you're sitting in a boring class and the clock seems to be stuck on the same point, time is still moving. When you're staring into the eyes of the one you love and the world seems to have stopped revolving, time is still moving. When you're visiting your past and reliving memories, time in the present is still moving. One day, you're five and trying to chase a butterfly through the garden. In the blink of an eye, you're twenty and butterflies have become dreams, gardens have become thorns and time is still moving. But there are still stars in the sky and the sun still rises in the east and when you hold someone's hand, it still feels safe.

I placed a palm on Caleb's chest, his heart beating beneath my skin, and stretched up to softly caress his lips as the clock struck twelve. It was the beginning of a new year and the end of one phase of my life. That day was the line that divided every incident into Before and After. And as Caleb cupped my face and dived his tongue in my mouth, I knew that the After was so much better than any Before I had ever had. I could live with fear. I wasn't sure I could live without him.

He pulled me to his side and pointed towards the sky. "Look."

Fireworks were dancing in the night sky in all sorts of happy colors. I sighed and settled against him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just..." I shook my head with a small smile. "Thank you."

"That text was really cute, by the way," he said.

A bright blush appeared on my cheeks. "Yeah. Spur of the moment thing."

He nuzzled my neck, laughing breathily on my skin. "You're not supposed to be so sweet so suddenly after being an ass. Throws me off my game."

"You were playing the field really amazingly though. For a while there, I wasn't sure if I was visible to you," I teased.

"Ignoring you is never easy. Even when I'm pissed at you," he said, his eyes going soft.

He suddenly stood up, pulling me upright with him. He interlaced his fingers through mine and we ran to the edge of the waves. With the freezing water lapping at our feet, he whipped off his T-shirt in one fluid motion and waded in. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he shouted, "What are you waiting there for?"

It was easy to lose my voice when he was standing shirtless, knee-deep in the ocean, his magnificent body on display. He had perfect washboard abs and a sculpted chest like a Roman statue. I licked my lips to bring some semblance of moisture back to them. "If you think I'm going anywhere near that, you're crazy."

He slowly started to make his way to me. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty," he crooned.

"Hell no," I said, taking one step back for every two he took towards me.

"Come in on your own or I'll drag you in," he threatened, amusement all over his face.

"This is nuts," I said and started to run away from him before he could do good on his threat.

He chased me along the shoreline. It didn't take him long to catch up to a person who spent most of his life curled up on the couch. When he did, he wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around, almost lifting me up from the ground. "Last chance, Matthew. I'm going to get you out of that shirt one way or another," he said, his voice singing a breath away from my ear.

"No," I said stubbornly and dug my feet in the sand.

He was unexpectedly strong. Or maybe I was unexpectedly weak. Or maybe I wanted to be dragged so I didn't struggle hard enough. (Let's go with the last one.) Either way, he ended up dragging me in the unforgiving cold water with considerable ease.

"What are you made of-" I was cut off when a huge tide rose up majestically before us and crashed over our heads, turning my mind into a block of ice and my words into squeaks. I clutched Caleb tightly and buried my face in his neck. "I hate water, I hate water, I hate water," I said, shivering a little.

He threw his head back and laughed. "It will start feeling warmer in a second."

I glared at him from beneath my eyelashes. I couldn't do it for very long because he was, as usual, right. The water did start feeling warmer as my body temperature adjusted to it. I had never been held in there long enough against my will that my body could ever adjust. It's surprising how so many things aren't as scary as we think.

"Okay. I'm not dying," I said hesitantly.

He splashed water on my face, almost doubled over in laughter at how I jumped and shrieked like a jellyfish had stung my soles. Thank god it wasn't height I was afraid of or he would be hanging me upside down from the edge of a cliff. I splashed him back but the most reaction I got out him was another chuckle and more water right on my face.

"What are you trying to accomplish?" I said while unsuccessfully dodging more splashes.

"You're completely wet now. You'll have to strip unless you wanna get sick," he said smugly. He took slow steps towards me, pushing the water back physically as he made his way to me. He leaned in, his lips skimming along my neck as he popped all the buttons on my shirt slowly and pushed it past my shoulders. His body felt like a slippery hot blanket enveloping me. My internal freak out alarm clock went off again when I tasted his salty lips and I had to tell myself over and over again that we were far enough from the party so no one would see us and it was okay and there was no reason to freak out and his hands felt so good on my bare skin and it was Caleb c'mon.

"Told you I'd get you out of your shirt," he murmured in my ear.

It was more than okay. It was Caleb.