Yes, I Am

Chapter Nineteen.

CALEB'S POV.

Two weeks ago...

Skipping town in the middle of a series of tests isn't the most advisable thing. I rationalized to myself that it's New York I can risk it. All my rationalizations and excuses went down the drain when I rushed into a test the next morning after only four hours of sleep and no revision. The last time I'd studied for it had been a month ago. Safe to assume, I didn't remember shit. The only upside to the day was soccer. When I stepped into the field, it was easy to dust off the worries and frustrations of the day. Even though the bright afternoon sun shone down like an umbrella of unbearable heat, the grass was still cool and tickled my bare feet when I ran. The field was empty; no one else had come until then, so I took laps of the ground, did a few pushups, kicked the ball aimlessly around until sweat and grime had replaced the uneasy feeling on my skin.

"Caleb!" I heard a shout. Three of the guys in my team were walking towards me. Ryan, the one who had called me, gave me a one-armed hug the way guys do.

I nodded to him and the others. "What's up?"

"All good, bro. How was your trip?" asked Ethan.

A smile crept over my face at the memory of the four perfect days and certain green-eyed boy who made my knees weak with one single look. "It was great."

"And how's your boyfriend?" Levi teased, intentionally stressing the word, and the others started laughing at how my cheeks warmed up without even trying.

"For God's sake, he's not my boyfriend," I huffed reluctantly. A little voice in my head was screaming, Yes, he is. He's mine. Mine, mine, mine. But all I could do was act exhausted, as if even the idea of dating him bewildered me.

"Oh please. You've never gone for trips alone with any of us." More people had started coming in and it seemed like I was their one target.

"You've never asked," I shrugged.

"Trip or no, you've definitely got the hots for him," declared Ryan and everyone agreed with him wholeheartedly.

"He's not even my type." I rolled my eyes at him. Yep. Sweet, smart, handsome. Not my type at all.

"He should be. He's much better than that jackass you dated in the beginning for a while," said Ethan.

Ah, yes. Gerard. The jackass with a name as snobby as a he was. I was new to the city then and didn't really know anyone. I met him on a kegger that our seniors had thrown to welcome the freshers. He was two years ahead of me in the same course. We got to talking, and as asshole of a person I now recognized him to be, I'd be remiss if I didn't admit how smart the guy was. He had the sort of naturally narrowed eyes that gave him an aristocratically intelligent look. Even when he would stand in the moot court during one of our mock debating sessions, the whole crowd would hush to hear him.

Anyway, courtesy to alcohol and the general frat-kind atmosphere, we hooked up that night. That was the nature of our relationship for quite a while; he showed me around in the day and we hooked up at night. Some people have talents of the manipulating people's perceptions. He made me think I wasn't good enough to go out with and when we finally started dating, it was one of the best things that had happened to me. Until it turned out he had a boyfriend back in his hometown that he had failed to ever mention.

"That's a pretty low bar to judge anyone by," I said.

"True, but he's also Austin's best friend, so he'll pass the approval test," said Ryan. As frustrating and soul-crunchingly teasing these guys were, I was still so lucky that they were so accepting of me and my sexuality. In fact, the first time I'd told them about Gerard, they had looked at me like I was an Olympian, their eyes comically wide, and started asking me all sorts of questions. And ever since Gerard had broken my heart, they had become extra protective about me.