Phan Fluff One-Shots

"so Phil and I kind of got married" (2)

By: umathurmanjustwatchedmehavesex on ao3

Word count: 2,664

Summary: "Outtakes" for previous chapter. Hopefully left enough at the beginning of each part so that you know when in the video it took place!

"So me and Phil kind of got married."

"Only kind of, though."

[Phil's voice comes from the bottom left hand corner of the screen: Dan smiles, eyes glancing fondly in that direction every so often.]

"Yeah, not, like, completely married, just a bit married."

"On the scale of one to ten, how married would you say we are?"

"Eight? Maybe?"

"I was going to say six."

"You were only going to say –"

[Jumpcut to Dan wide-eyed and staring past the bottom left corner of the screen.]

"Oh, my god, we got married. Phil, we got married. Like, full-on at-the-altar-wedding-rings-in-front-of-all-our-family married."

"Yes, we did, I'm pretty sure I was there. Dan, this is like the ten millionth time we've had this conversation."

"Yes, but, Phil, I'm telling the internet."

"How's that going?"

"Not very well, actually. Like, you guys think you're freaking out right now, that is absolutely nothing to what is going on inside my brain. I kind of want to – oh, wait, I have an idea. Phil, could you go get my old school shirt and tie from my room?"

"You don't have to say it's your bedroom anymore, remember?"

"Oh, god, I don't, do I? That's gonna be nice, I hadn't actually thought about that. I mean, we kind of got used to it, especially as I still keep most of my clothes in there because this room does not have enough closet space - "

" - we both managed to fit in there pretty comfortably for a few years."

"Yes, Phil, thank you for that contribution, now could you go get them, please?"

"Why do I have to get it, anyway?"

"To... prove to my subscribers that you're a supportive husband and they should all be jealous?"

[Phil sighs, and there are sounds of him standing up and leaving the room in the background.]

"Thank you! ...ah, the husband card. It's going to get old sometime soon, but hopefully not too soon."

[Jumpcut.]

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you –"

[Phil walks into the camera, hands Dan a shirt and a tie, leans down to –]

[Jumpcut to Dan grinning at the camera]

"Ha, ha, thought you were in luck there, didn't you? Okay, but now Phil has actually got these I can play out my idea."

"I can't believe you're doing this for an outtakes video."

"I can't believe you – you – your mum."

"You can't believe your mum-in-law?"

"...yeah, it's a little bit harder to make jokes about his mum now that she's my mother-in-law."