Dress-Up Day

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By: pamoonblackbird on ao3

Word count: 966

Summary: Little Jamie Lester gets taunted in school for wanting to wear a princess costume, and Phil comforts him.


Phil's not left the office in a couple hours when the door creaks.

He's editing a video that was supposed to be up hours ago, but somehow he can't seem to get it right. It's barely past ten in the evening, he can still remember a time when that used to be early to him, but that was years ago. And he's been up since dawn today, his concentration is slipping, eyes burning...

Dan's cackling laughter sounds through the wall, he's watching some stupid casting show and what wouldn't Phil give to join him...

But no, he's got to get this done tonight.

He doesn't even register the door opening until a ray of light from the hallway falls in, illumnating his mismatched socks, and the sound of a small voice reaches his ears from behind.

„Papa?"

„Not now, Jamie, I'm working," he says distractedly, meanwhile dragging a clip of footage where it's supposed to go. „Go talk to your dad."

Uneasily, Jamie shifts his featherweight from one foot to the other, leaning against the door frame. „I tried, but he sent me back to bed."

„Well, why aren't you in bed, then?" His usual bedtime is eight.

A second of silence.

„I can't sleep."

Of course not. If he didn't know better, Phil would definitely believe their adoptive son has inherited some of Dan's genes.

He lets go of the mouse, a soft sigh rolling off his lips as he leans back in the office chair. „Alright, come here. You can stay for a minute."
Exhaling thankfully, Jamie shuffles into the room and quickly climbs onto Phil's lap, settling back against his chest.

Phil rests his chin on the boy's shoulder, reaching around him to get back to editing. He knows his son will eventually speak up about what's bothering him. And sure enough, after he's silently watched him for a while, a series of words slips past Jamie's lips.

„Today in school, we were talking about our costumes. For dress-up day next week."

Between mouse clicks, Phil hums quietly to reassure the seven-year-old that he's listening.

„It was all about movies, so I thought of Frozen because that's my favorite film. And I thought about who I like most in it and that's Elsa..."

„Hhm hmm," Phil mutters, breath fanning the back of Jamie's neck, causing the ticklish boy to flinch. He frowns when there's no giggle as usual.

„Go on."

But all Jamie does is lick over his chapped lips, fidgeting until Phil's hand abandons the mouse and he wraps both arms around the boy, holding him snug. „There, there... Jamie, what's up?" he asks in a gentle whisper, placing a kiss on his temple.

Jamie's voice dissolves into a mumble as he continues. „The other boys all wanted to be knights and pirates and superheroes. When I said I wanted to be Elsa, they..." He draws in a deep breath before completing the sentence, revealing what's been nagging him all along. „They called me girly. And they said that if I dress up as a girl that means I'm... g-gay"

Phil lets his eye lids drop. Kids. Oh, god. Have they always been that judgemental? They're not supposed to be like this...

But he knows that Jamie is watching his expression closely, so he does his best not to frown and pulls him in closer, trying to figure out what to say. „Oh, Jamie... Sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with being a girl."

„But -"

That didn't come out right. „Shh, hear me out, angel. There's nothing bad about being a girl, but you are no girl. You're a boy and wearing a dress isn't going to make you any less of one, just like none of the boys in your class will gain superpowers from wearing a red cape."

„But the boys said -"

„These boys obviously haven't grasped the concept of dress-up day yet. It's just a costume, Jamie. It's fantasy! You use it to become someone else for a day, someone you couldn't be in real life. It doesn't change or affect who you are. Also, girly is neither an insult nor is it true. And about that other thing they said – you know what being gay means."
Jamie nods. „It's when two men love each other, like you and daddy do."

Phil decides against pointing out the fact that both him and Dan are actually not gay but bisexual, not wanting to confuse the mind of his seven-year-old with too many definitions.

„Exactly. Now, tell me, does that have anything to do with the way a person chooses to dress?"

A headshake, charily.

„No," Phil confirms, „It does not. You know what does? The gender you identify with. But that's a topic for another day."

They're silent for a while as Phil lets Jamie sort out his thoughts, only disturbed by Dan's excessively loud laughter from the lounge.

Finally, the small boy pulls his legs up and snuggles closer into Phil's embrace.

„So you think I can be Elsa, Papa?"

„Yes!" Phil makes his voice sound as encouraging and determined as he can. „Of course I do. I think you'll be a wonderful Elsa. And a very beautiful one at that."

A smile tugs on Jamie's lips, and he pulls the lower one between his teeth.

Phil cups his face in his hands and presses a loving kiss to his forehead.

„So will you let me take you back to bed now?"

„Yeah, okay."

He gets to his feet, hoisting Jamie up on his hip as he walks over to the door.

„Wait, Papa. One more question."
„Yes, Jamie?"

„...Will you buy me a dress?"

Phil laughs, a bubbly, carefree laugh that rings through their flat, mingling with Dan's.

„Yes, Jamie, you'll get a dress. Just like the one Elsa wears!"

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