Phan Fluff One-Shots

Bet My Life (Against You)

By: wordsongs on ao3

Word count: 11,784

Summary: (slightly sexual drunk) Dan makes a bet that Phil will never like him/kiss him no matter what he does. I leave you to let the hilarity and chaos ensue. Bonus: if you include hot jealous Phil.
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Dan held out his hand,"It's a bet."

"...and that's how I learned not piss Zoe off." Dan laughed on cue along with the rest of the group. Their voices muffled by the sound of the rest of the party. Somewhere between the dim lights, loud conversations, and hordes of people, he had lost track of Phil. And Dan would be lying if he said he didn't feel incredibly out of place alone. Unaccompanied and surrounded by his...peers? Competition? Acquaintances?

He ran his eyes over the crowd, not listening to the babble about dates and girlfriends and PMS. All of it was starting to get on his nerves, all of the people were. He sipped absentmindedly at his drink, well aware he probably shouldn't be on his third already this early into the night, but not really bothering to care.

"So Dan?," he turned at the sound of his own name, forced back into the conversation.

Caspar nudged him on the shoulder,"How's it with you and the boyfriend?" As if the comment wasn't enough, Caspar also winked exaggeratedly. An odd whim popped into Dan's mind, he really wanted to slap Caspar. Of course he wouldn't, but the irritation was still there, like an itch Dan couldn't scratch. And how dare Caspar bring up Phil.

"Phil and I aren't like that...and you know it,"Dan couldn't help to keep the sharpness out of his tone,"We aren't gay.

Caspar snorted, looking vaguely pleased at Dan's defensive response. "You aren't."

Caspar shared a look with a few of the others in the circle, all of them smug. As if they were in on a joke Dan wasn't."Are you saying--."

"Oh come on Daniel,"Caspar drawled, using Dan's full name, even though it was completely out of bounds,"You know we all ship it and it's hard not to, considering..."

"Considering what?"

"You two act like you're married, or at least fucking." Dan cringed at the coarse term, of course him and Phil weren't—

And they weren't married either, they were just friends. Friends. Friends. Friends.

"Well, we aren't," he said icily, hoping Caspar would drop the subject, or that one of the others would come to his defense or change the topic.

"Not if Phil has something to say about it."

That was it, Dan was fed up,"Oh shut up,"he growled. He wasn't gay, neither was Phil. They weren't together and even if in some crazy alternate universe the 'phan' rumors were true, it wasn't anyone else's fucking business.

Nevertheless, Caspar pressed on,"No really! He's always love eyes Lester over there, he'd go gay for you. Guarantee it." The utter ignorance of the comment affronted Dan, his jaw locked as he forced his face to remain neutral.

"People don't go gay for people, Caspar."

"Maybe not,"Caspar shrugged,"But he is gay for you."

"No. He's not." Dan gave up on sending imploring looks to Alfie and accepted he would just have to listen to Caspar's idiot ramble. He could go scream for nine hours later to exert all of the internal screeching that was sounding in his head.

"Oh come on—admit it. I bet that if you showed any interest, he'd be all over you."

He gave Caspar what could only be described as a bitch face."You bet?"