How to Human (Remastered)

Technology & The Internet

All humans seem to carry around a small device called a cellular telephone. This cellular device is most teenage children's "life", or "Bæ". (pronounced 'bay.')

The cellular device can access the "internet". The Internet is a giant global invisible web that the humans use to link their devices together. Most humans use this internet.

There are several groups of people on the Internet: the hipsters, the geeks, the nerds, the uneducated older humans, the creeps, the annoying underage humans, the weeaboos, and the fangirls/boys. For the most popularity or group of friends, join the hipster group, they use "apps" on their cellular device called Instagram, Twitter, snapchat, and more. They post pictures of themselves that they took by extending their arm with their cellular device's camera facing them. These pictures are called "selfies", and when the hipsters post them they often add a caption that does not pertain to the picture at all.

The geeks are the most ignored. Not much is known about them. They mainly browse a video website called YouTube.

The nerds do not use apps, but hack into most computer systems. They know a lot about cellular devices and what the humans call "computers," they are just like the cellular devices, except bigger and have a "keyboard" and "mouse." (Note: the mouse is not a real mouse, in fact it does not even look like one at all. It is unknown why they are called this.)

The creeps can be found just about anywhere. They are older human males that pretend to be attractive young females/males in order to talk to younger humans. Be very careful when talking to anyone on the Internet, as anybody could be a Creep. They can be anywhere from 4chan, YouTube, Tumblr, and even Instagram.

The uneducateds are older humans (typically in between the ages of 40-70) who either don't know how to use technology properly, or they know and constantly berate technology although they are using it to post this complaint. These are found primarily on Facebook and occasionally on Instagram.

The younger humans (slang term "TWELVIES") are found mostly on Wattpad, Instagram, and very rarely Tumblr. They are young humans who don't meet the age requirements of the website they have gained access to.

The weeaboos are a group of humans that are obsessed with a specific type of cartoons called "Anime", which are from the earthen country of "Japan". They are found on Tumblr, YouTube, and all streaming websites that offer anime.

Lastly, the fangirls/boys use Tumblr, Wattpad, Netflix, and more. This group tends to obsess over television series, movies, comic books, actors, singers, anime (note: a human can be in the weeaboo AND Fangirl/boy category simultaneously), and books/novels. These groups are called "fandoms," which is a group of people that obsess over one subject, There are various fandoms, and no official record of how many, but the rough estimate is that there are 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 fandoms overall.

After you chose you group, you now become friends with people you meet over this Internet and talk constantly. This is a great way of dominating the Earth with long-distance.