The Law of Attraction [Chris Beck]

Chapter 21

Beck had been asleep on Alice's shoulder for over an hour; she had an incredible ache in her shoulder and her butt was asleep. Still, she didn't move a muscle and focused in on Beck's slow breathing and heart rate. It was surprisingly comforting, although she was super uncomfortable. She even closed her eyes and tried to drift off, but the uncomfortable position did not allow for that. A knock on her door startled her, and she whisper-yelled that whomever it was could come in; she didn't care who saw Beck asleep on her shoulder at this point, it was part of her job, and nothing was happening between them.

It was Lewis, and she opened the door cautiously. As she spotted Alice and Beck, she was slightly surprised, but it was clear that she understood, and gave Alice a nod to show that she was not upset. Alice looked at Beck and tried to think of how she could get out from under his weight. Shifting slowly, she held his head in her hands and leaned him against the wall. When he stayed in that position, Alice stood up straight and looked at Lewis. The two left the room so that Beck could continue to sleep; everyone was lacking in that department and it was starting to become a problem.

"Lewis, I know what this looks-"

Lewis raised her hand and silenced Alice. "It looks like he fell asleep for the first time in a week; I don't care about where he falls asleep, but I need my crew to begin to function properly again. Rushing this sort of thing is awful, I hate it, but I am leaning on you being able to help me."

"Of course." Alice looked up into the Commanders eyes. "We're all taking this as well as expected, everyone is almost back on track with their assignments."

"And you?"

Alice's lips tightened, the colour draining slightly. "Working on Mark's assignments as well as my own is tough, more mentally straining, but that was expected."

"You could share it, you know," she told her. "Take turns working on Mark's assignments with someone else."

Nodding, Alice wondered who she could ask to help with his tasks. He had written up a book of "how to" procedures in the event that he was sick, or in this awful case, dead. There was nothing too extensive to it, mostly tending to the plants that were brought along. But Alice was having a hard time balancing that, her own tasks, her psych evals, and actually being there for the crew and helping them get through this tremendously difficult time. Everyone was going to cope differently, to overcome their grief differently, and what Alice had to do was ensure that they were being healthy about it, not bottling anything up. Beck was the first to break down in front of her, and she felt as though she had gained a level of trust between each crew member at this point. They were able to break down in front of her, to tell her how they felt. That was her job, after all, but it was always a heart-warming sensation to know someone trusted her on that level.

"I'll keep that in mind, although I will wait; I wasn't there..."

"This is as hard on you as it is us." Lewis placed her hand on Alice's shoulder. "You don't need to pretend as though this isn't hard on you, not being there when it happened makes no difference."