The Law of Attraction [Chris Beck]

Chapter 29

                Keeping her distance from Chris Beck was growing increasingly harder; not only did they continuously discuss Mark's plants, both of them were getting lists of "must do's" from NASA that NASA got from Mark. Turns out they hadn't done everything perfectly, and Mark expected his plants to be tended to as though they were his house pets. So now they found themselves almost overwhelmed with work, which normally would have acted as a great distraction, but they were frequently together. Too many times they had already broken their rule, but it felt as though there was less reason to fight their attraction to one another now that nothing was entirely normal. Mark was alive, a rescue plan was in the works, everyone might make it home okay.

Waiting until they got home was difficult, but so far they had managed aside from a few quick kisses here and there. Going behind everyone's backs was both a thrill and a guilty pleasure; but Alice knew that Lewis would be the most hurt had they gotten caught. So putting a stop to it was what they both aimed for, but couldn't seem to one hundred per cent achieve. 

She had stopped going to his bunk in order to rid any more temptation, and Beck found himself missing her warmth. Alice was beginning to wonder how things would work once they got back home; she knew that nothing was completely over and done with in regards to Patrick. There would be things to discuss, items to sort through. Alice was just glad they never had kids or pets, otherwise things would have been a lot worse. Then, when they made it back to Earth, there would be the ever lingering wait to see if Mark would make it.

Only time could tell just how it was going to work out.

Things were getting better; NASA was in constant contact with Mark, and kept the Hermes crew in the loop at last. Alice wanted to tell them that they were idiots for not telling the crew the moment they came to the frightening conclusion that Mark was still alive; it had lifted the spirits of everyone, even though no one even realized that there was still a remorseful tone to the Hermes. After four months, the crew had gotten over the worst part of Mark's death, but it was then that they were informed that he was alive, and doing relatively well for someone living on Mars alone.

Since having been informed, now that there were no more big secrets, Alice was asked to keep in contact with the psychologist who was working the case from home, speaking with the tabloids and such. She gave the other psychologist all the information that she felt comfortable giving, not wanting to put everything out there knowing that it was going to be broadcast to the world. And the world was watching; the time slot designated for updates on Mark was the most watched in all of history. There was no comparison, and it showed that the world cared about Mark. People were donating money, the fact Mark's survival had reached all corners of the world forced the governments hand; they had to help by giving money, otherwise they would look bad.

She wrote up a psych eval. that briefed over the entire crew and how they were all doing better now that they had been told. After each days tasks they would check up on Mark in any way they could, though only the Commander had been allowed to send a message so far. NASA stated that it was best to keep contact minimal so that everyone could focus on getting home safe. NASA was the equivalent of a babysitter that actually makes the kid go to bed on time. In her eval. she made it subtle yet clear that NASA had made a mistake and should have informed them, as it would have made a lot of things easier, including her own tasks given that she had to keep the secret for so long.

Today was the day of the supply probe launch; corners had been cut in order to save time. Mark had recently blown up the Hab, losing his long-term source of food, which were his potatoes that he had spent so much back-breaking labour on. It had been a devastating discovery, many of NASA believing him dead until he spelled it out for them in Morse code that he was still alive. But that did not mean he was going to be alive for much longer; without the supply probe, he wouldn't have a chance to make it as long as it would take for the Ares 4 to rescue him. Yet Mark had still been optimistic; he had not given up hope and neither had NASA.

Listening to the transmission, which still had a long delay, the crew all huddled into the rec room where they could hear the supply probe launch occur. Alice stood between Beck and Johanssen, clutching both of their hands because she knew she'd have dug her nails into her palms otherwise. Neither of them protested, and it was interesting to see who held tighter in return. Both of them clutched back, and both of them fluctuated on how hard they held her hand. Johanssen's was more of a worried clutch, but Alice could feel Beck was just glad to hold her hand. There was so much on the table, so much at stake, and there were high chances that this would fail. Everyone had been waiting for this moment with much anticipation, terrified and eager emotions in an uneven balance. There was the sense of "what more could go wrong?", but there was the ever lingering gloom of the reality that a lot more could go wrong.

The launch was successful.

The crew cheered and rejoiced.

And then the bad news came; not long after launch, the probe developed a violent shimmy that diverted it completely off the path it was supposed to be on. There was no getting it back on course, the probe launch was a false success, a delayed failure. The Hermes grew dark, the atmosphere bitter and cold, as though Mark was dead once again. He wasn't, not yet, but the truth was laid out for them. There was going to be no saving him now; the supply probe would have arrived on Mars when Mark was near starvation as is, a second one would be sent too late, Mark might not be alive by the time it even got close.

Alice dipped her head, releasing both Johanssen and Beck's hand with a defeated feel. After all that, after all the hope, it had been shattered. Scrunching her face as to try not to tear up, Alice slipped out of the rec room and to her station. She knew NASA would be asking for yet another eval. sooner or later, and she decided to address it now. Use it to distract her if just for a minute or an hour. She sat at her station, her hands shaking slightly as they hovered over the key board. She took a sharp breath to try and fight the tears, and then spotted Beck standing in the door way. Somehow, she managed a smile.

"Hey." She wiped a stray tear from her eye before it could fall.

"I know you probably want to be alone," Beck said. "But I just wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah, okay." She nodded graciously.

Beck took a seat beside her, wanting to reach out and grab her hand, but he reconsidered. Instead, he clutched his hands together and tightened his shoulders. "I think..."

Alice felt her stomach twist and her heart beat cease in her chest. She felt as though Beck were about to tell her that he no longer wished to let anything go on between them, that there was too much blurry history and too much grief between them due to Mark's current situation and the crew's helplessness. That her going to his room and seeking him for solace was not because she wanted to be with him, but because she wanted somebody beside her to take on the stress with her. That was not the case in any shape or form, but Alice had a bad feeling that this was what Beck wanted to talk about. It was the perfect time to bring it up, because any sadness would be justified by the supply probe launch fail, and Mark's almost guaranteed death. She dropped her head, bit her lip.

"With everything that is going on, all the risk, everything that has happened in the last year..." He took a shuddery breath. "I think I need you to know, and maybe it is the wrong time to tell you and I'm sorry if I am going completely off track by saying this..."

Alice looked up; what the hell was he talking about?

"I think I love you."