barrier // jjk [completed]

k

When I woke up for work the next morning, a feeling of dread instantly ran through my body as I thought back to last night.

I don't know what had taken over me.

I felt terrible about how I acted towards Jungkook last night, but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself, it was like something had taken over me when he started talking about the other girl.

Was I jealous?

I can't be... can I?

As I stepped onto the third floor, I instantly felt my stomach drop upon hearing the rowdy group of boys chattering just a few rooms down.

My steps felt heavy as I dragged my feet towards the room. I had no idea what was waiting for me behind these walls.

Before I even realized I had arrived in the room, Namjoon wrapped an arm around like he usually did every morning.

"Hey, Brinley! How was your sleep?" He asked as I smiled halfheartedly and shrugged his arm off as casually as I could.

I could tell that he knew something was wrong as he bent down to my level.

"Hey... are you okay?" He asked me as I tried to put on a more convincing smile.

"I'm fine, Namjoon. Thank you for asking." I said as he smiled at me slightly and left me to go back to his seat.

As soon as I got to the front of the room, I noticed how one seat was empty.

It was the seat I always looked at when I was feeling discouraged or anxious.

It was the seat that was always the first to be filled.

It was Jungkook's seat.

"Jimin, where's Jungkook?" I asked him as I tried to act as normal as I could.

I assumed that Jimin would know where Jungkook was since they were always seen together.

"He..uh.. No feel good.. Today." Jimin said as I smiled at his words and let out a sigh.

Inside, my heart instantly sank as Jimin uttered out those words.

I knew exactly why Jungkook wasn't here.

And it was all my fault.

The day went by painfully slow--Jungkooks absence made tutoring agonizing.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the boys dearly, but Jungkook was the only one who actually made me feel like my teaching was worth something.

When I got back home at my apartment, the only thing lingering in my mind was Jungkook.

Throughout the whole day, I felt this urge to reach out to Jungkook and try to repair the damage.

But, at the back of my mind, I thought that maybe I needed space to try and figure things out. There was no lying in the fact that there was something between Jungkook and I.

Chemistry?

Friendship?

Romance?

I had no idea.

And I just needed to come to terms with whatever it was.

So, maybe, not talking to him for a while is a good idea, I thought.

But as the night went on, I found myself constantly dwelling on what had happened between Jungkook and I.

My sheets felt tight around my body, and I was very uncomfortable. I couldn't stop switching positions and tossing around, I was completely restless. A bead of sweat grew on my forehead as the air in my apartment seemed like a drought. My mind was now clouded with overthought feelings as I sat up in my bed and ran my hands through my thick hair. 

I needed to say something to him, to at least have some closure, for my sake.

I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand, and glared at the time. 

3:10am.

He won't be getting these messages now, so I might as well not beat around the bush around this. 

And with that thought in mind, I began to type.

me: hey, i'm sorry, alright? i know i messed up big time.

me: the truth is that i didn't know what to say when u were talking about another girl.

me: idk, it made me feel...something i never felt before, so i just got scared, okay? i got scared and pushed you away.

me: i just can't stop thinking...

me: about you.

me: is that weird?

me: please come back tomorrow. i give u permission to come back. please.

me: i need you.

Sorry! Your messages didn't send! Would you like to try again?

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