barrier // jjk [completed]

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The room was dead silent.

Which was surprisingly nice for a change.

The boys were currently writing in their English journals, which meant that I could finally have some peace and quiet around here.

Jungkook still hadn't spoken one word to me since our conversation last night, and I was honestly pretty mad at him for what he did. For one, he broke our "thing" off over text, not even in person, and then blocked me, so I couldn't tell him my thoughts. It was so unfair.

But I guess I'm just getting a taste of my own medicine.

I focused on the way he wrote in his journal, and how he bit his lip every time he paused to read what he had just written, or when his tongue would stick out slightly when he was concentrating.

I wonder if he knows just how much I care for him.

I had lost track of my thoughts as he slowly lifted his head and locked eyes with my own.

It felt as if he could read my every thought.

I gave him a soft smile as he looked away and continued to write, but his face was not as harsh as it was before.

He smiled slightly as he looked down at his journal before flipping to another page.

What was he writing about?

--

Another day had gone by quickly, and the boys had already poured out of the room as I packed up my things. I was about to stand up, but I then saw black shoes in front of me, and I knew exactly who it was.

My eyes trailed up in front of me to find Jungkook, with his journal in his hands.

We said nothing for a couple seconds, just exchanging glances back and forth, seeing which one of us would crack first.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he sighed and held out his journal towards me.

"I give it to you." He mumbled out softly as I took the journal in my hands.

It was bit worn out by now, and it was beginning to tear at the edges...

But it showed just how much he had written in here.

And he was giving it to me.

"Isn't this your school English journal..?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Yes. I write only English in it. But I write all English thoughts and...secrets in it too." He informed me.

I was very quite honoured that he would give me such a special possession of his, so it must have some important things in here that I needed to have or know somehow.

"Jungkook... are you sure you want to give this to me? I know how much this journal means to you." I said as I ran my fingers over the front cover.

"I want you to read." Jungkook said as he scratched the back of his neck and looked at me with a nervous expression painted on his face.

I pursed my lips as I hugged the book to my chest and looked up at Jungkook.

"Okay... I will. Only because you want me to." I said as I tucked the book underneath my arm.

"Good, good.. Okay, I see you tomorrow Brinley. Goodnight." He said as he swiftly turned on his heel and began to walk out the door.

"Bye, Brinley." He breathed out as he left the room completely.

I let out a sigh as I gently turned the book in my hands.

Property of Jeon Jungkook.

I flipped the page, and started to read through the very first diary entry carefully. It was very hard to read, because of his messy handwriting, and for lack of better word, horrible English.

Diary Entry 1

Date: September 8th

I pick up girl at                         plane

She       pretty

I want       get know        her

I bursted out laughing at how I remember him to be so charming when I first met him at the airport holding that ridiculous sign.

Oh, how the times have changed.

Just for the fun of it, I read a second entry.

 Diary Entry 2

Date: September 12th

Her name                      Brinley

Lessons is     fun with    her

She still        pretty

I think     she think i       Cute

I found myself itchingly curious as I remembered so vividly how badly I wanted to know what he thought of me when I first came, and through all the experiences we had together.

So I read another one.

Diary Entry 3

Date: September 22nd

I hope my English get better soon

I wa nt to talk        to her

But we                                       can't

Before I knew it, I was reading entry after entry, until I finally stopped on one. 

Diary Entry 12

Date: October 20th

I still want her. Why? I no have chance.

Namjoon.

I hate him.

And I hate me.

For not being able to speak well English.

And to get her how I want.

This is when Jungkook started to get jealous, I thought as I closed the book. That was enough entries for today. I started to feel confused with my thoughts and emotions as they swirled around.

  Was I even mad at Jungkook anymore?

Did I still love him, or was it just pity?

I headed home, and buried the journal in my nightside drawer.

No one was going to read that except for me.

I fell asleep, and dreamed of nothing but darkness as I was conflicted with Jungkook still.

And I think I always will be, with him.