barrier // jjk [completed]

o

So far, tutoring had always been something I looked forward to lately. I had gotten over the fact that it was a chore, and started looking at it as a lifestyle.

I had a lot of things happening in my life, and somehow, work was the only thing that made sense to me now, despite all the shenanigans that would go on in class.

With all the things that had happened between Jungkook, Namjoon, and I, I was glad that I could finally distract myself from it for a while.

But not much had progressed between the three of us.

I wasn't sure if all the boys knew what had been going on between us, though I'm sure they must have figured it out on their own by now. It didn't take a genius to know that Jungkook had a major behavioural change whenever I would tutor. Jungkook started ditching again, and when he did come, he never looked interested in any of it anymore, and often slept during my lessons. Namjoon hadn't said a word to me, and when he did, it would just be to ask me if I needed any help teaching. 

 There was also a lot of tension between Jungkook and Namjoon. When I would watch their dance practices once and awhile, there would be no words between them except for heated glares and light shoves when they passed each other.

There was still a question that hadn't been answered, and that was what Jungkook meant when he said Namjoon was lying.

What was he lying about?

Why would he lie?

There was so many unknown variables that needed to be solved.

And the only person that could give me the answers I needed was Namjoon.

It was the end of another day, and as usual, everyone seemed to be rushing to leave the room.

But I couldn't let him leave. Not until I found out the truth.

"Hey, Namjoon!" I called out as he turned towards me hesitantly, almost as if he wasn't sure I was talking to him.

"We need to talk. Now." I said as he walked towards me, his head focusing on the floor beneath him.

"Yeah, what is it?" He asked me, his eyes still on the floor.

"So, as you have probably heard already, Jungkook and I had a little incident a couple days ago."

He nodded.

"And while we were talking, he said something about you lying." I cocked an eyebrow at him, and crossed my arms.

"So...I'm letting you explain yourself." I said calmly, but on the inside I could already feel my blood boiling.

He wiped his palms on his jeans and exhaled heavily.

"I like you, Brin. I really do." He started.

Huh?

I blinked a couple times, but at this point him liking me was almost inevitable, so I wasn't phased much by it, but it kind of took me by surprise.

"Go on." I said, my expression and stance still the same.

"And when I heard Jungkook liked you too, well, I got jealous, to say the least. I know he's better looking than me, and better at most things, but I had one thing he didn't: English." His look was almost pleading as raised his head to look at me.

"Namjoon, don't say bad things like that about yourself, and please just cut to the chase?" I rolled my eyes lightly as I was fed up with him trying to ease in the subject matter.

"I kind of just..prevented you from going out with Jungkook." He winced at his own words as he awaited his doom.

I can't believe this.

"How." I said through clenched teeth.

"I told him some things that you wouldn't understand..." He trailed off, but was cut off by my bare hand whipping across his face, leaving a red tint on his cheek.

"WHAT THE- WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" He screamed at me.

I couldn't even believe what I was doing.

"You deserved that. What. Did. You. Tell. Him." I could feel my veins popping out of my neck from anger.

"All I did was tell him you weren't interested in him, the same thing I told you about him. But, I really don't understand why you're getting mad, Brinley. You're the one who rejected him in the first place! And just for the record, he didn't listen to me because he didn't believe me. It didn't matter that I knew more English than him. You were the one who showed the signs of interest, and so he went for it." Namjoon blabbered on, rubbing the cheek where I had inflicted him.

"Seriously Namjoon?! I can't even-" I stopped. I hadn't really realized why I was mad in the first place. 

I took in Namjoon's words and he did have a very valid point.

I was mad at myself more than anyone.

And I was taking it out on Namjoon.

I sighed deeply and blinked.

"Look, Namjoon, I'm sorry, alright? I don't really know why I'm mad right now." I confessed, looking down.

"And, I'm sorry for hitting your face." I awkwardly mumbled, my sentence almost sounding like a child was apologizing.

I looked up at Namjoon as we locked eyes and stared at each other for a few seconds until he started to chuckle lightly then sigh.

"Its okay. I understand why you would be mad at me. I'm sorry too, Brin. I let my jealousy get the best of me, and I shouldn't have." Namjoon said, nudging my leg softly as we sat in silence.

"One thing I learned from all of this, is that you're a really good friend, Brinley. And if Jungkook makes you happy, then I'm happy. I was being too foolish and protective and closed minded. If two people can be together but speak different languages, I believe it can be you two more than anyone else." He said as I looked down at my feet.

"I'm just so angry... at myself. I messed up everything good in my life, and now I've pushed my relationship with Jungkook past the brink of no return. I just push everyone away. I don't know why I do that. It's just easier." I mumbled out softly as a small lump in my throat formed for what it seemed like the millionth time this week as Namjoon stood up suddenly.

"Maybe... we can fix this." Namjoon said as he looked down at me.

"It's too late for that, Namjoon. You don't even know. The things I said...they hurt him so bad. I know they did. What's done is done." I muttered out coldly as I began to pack up my things for the night.

"It's never too late to try again."