A Love Like War

s e v e n

SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Weightless by All Time Low

I have no idea how long I sat there talking to Maria. It seemed like hours and hours had gone by until the both of us were yawning and lacking the ability to speak clearly. By the time the bus is in my line of sight I can see the sun just barely starting to peak above the horizon.

Then something stops me from walking closer. All the lights on the bus are on. Every single last one of them, meaning that everyone's still awake.

I swallow the lump in my throat and knock on the door, not quite bold enough to walk right in.

Alex appears in front of me moments later. His tall frame blocks out the light from inside casting an eerie shadow on the ground. "Jack, where the fuck have you been?" He snarls at me.

"I was around." I answer quietly.

"We've been worried sick. Did you even think before running off like that? You're twenty-six, you should know better than to throw a temper tantrum like a fucking baby."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just needed out, I was suffocating in there." I murmur in his general direction.

He steps aside and lets me into the bus before pulling me into a tight embrace. "Please don't do that again. I was scared to death of what could have happened to you." He whispers in my ear without letting me go. After a moment he pulls away and holds me at arms length, taking careful examination of my face. "You're okay now though, right?"

"I'm fine." I repeat with a smile.

"Okay. Come on back, we're in the lounge." I nod before kicking off my shoes and padding into the back of the bus. Rian sits with a furrow in his brow staring intently at his phone screen. Zach sits inches away from him, his teeth biting into the flesh of his lip. "He's back." Alex states before moving to sit beside them.

"Thank fuck. Where were you?" Rian asks. His creased forehead has since relaxed at Alex's words. I didn't think they'd be this worried.

"I was around." I answer with a shrug. "I think I'm going to call it a night." I say after a moment.

Zach nods his head quietly before standing and moving to hug me. "I'm glad you're okay." He whispers in my ear before offering me a small smile and moving to sit back down on the couch.

"I'm going to bed too." Rian declares before pushing past me to his bunk.

"Goodnight guys." I call before shutting the door on the lounge and moving to my bunk. I crawl in and pull the blankets tight around my body, but sleep doesn't come.

My thoughts keep flashing back to their reactions. Zach isn't really one for physical contact with people, when fans come up he's the least likely to hug them. And for Rian to look that anxious, and so relieved at the sight of me? It's practically unheard of. Everyone knows Rian gets short tempered with me the fastest. What worries me most though is Alex. It was the look in his eyes when he saw me. Relief, and then anger. I do a lot of stupid shit, but he never gets mad at me. I break his favourite guitar? It can be replaced. I catch him and Lisa making out, sure I probably shouldn't have asked to join in, but he only looked dissapointed that I ruined the mood. Nothing with him has ever caused him to get mad at me.

I play the moment over and over in mt head before I hear whispering from behind me.

"Are you going to give it to him?" Zach hisses.

"It's his. I can't exactly keep it to myself." Alex reasons back.

"But you saw how he reacted at the bar. Is this really the best idea?" Zach shoots back.

"Chill. I know Jack, he's my best friend. He'll cope."

"I know he'll cope. I'm just worried about the side effects that come with him coping."

A sigh, but I'm not sure who it belonged too. "He'll be okay." Alex replies.

"Okay isn't Jack. I want Jack back."

"And he'll be back soon. We just need to help him through this."

"Help him? Alex, he doesn't open up about what's bothering him. Ever. We might as well go to Stella and convince her to get back together with him. It's not happening." I stiffen at his words. Never? We won't ever get back together?

"I know. I heard what she said, but he needs this. I know he does. It's the most we'll be able to offer him."

"And what are you going to do? Leave it beside his pillow and hope for the best in the morning."

"I know it sounds rediculous, but what other choice to we have?"

"You could fucking tell me, for starters." I growl as I pull the blanket tighter around my shoulders and bury my head in my pillow.

"You're awake?" Zach asks tentitavely.

"Well I sure as hell wasn't sleeping." I mumble with a roll of my eyes.

"How much did you hear?" Alex asks.

"All of it. Every single fucking word."

"I'm sorry," he says, like it'll make everythin better. "It wasn't an accident Stella was working tonight. You know that?"

I shrug. "I'd assumed so."

"We didn't mean to freak you out like that. We'd assumed you'd be ready. It's been two months Jack, we didn't know you hadn't gotten over her at all." Zach chimes in.

"You could have asked."

"But would you have told us anything? We thought we were doing what was best for you." Alex adds.

"Oh yeah. Right. What's best for me. And that includes throwing me in front of my ex without any warnings. Smooth."

"I know it wasn't the smartest. And I appologize, but we'd talked over the variable that you wouldn't go through with it. She wrote you a note."

"A note?" I scoff. "A note won't fix anything. We're still broken up, and it's not like she'll take me back, right Zach."

Another sigh. "You heard that."

"Yeah. I did."

"Just read the note." Alex tells me before shoving the folded up pieces of paper onto my pillow.

I pick up the paper. The edges are crisply folded and her loopy writing has my name on the front. And I don't know if it will hurt more to read it or leave it behind.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
he's cute
WATTPAD RECOMENDATION:
Autumn by colourlessness