A Love Like War

e l e v e n

SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Circles by Pierce The Veil
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I'm not entirely sure what compelled me to leave the bus. It might have been something in the air, or maybe I was feeling a touch of optimism, either way I find myself walking around the rainy streets in sunglasses at night with a dark beanie covering my unruly hair. A dark, olive green hoodie was shrugged overtop of my sweatpants and pulled over my hat, further shielding me from everyone around me.

To be honest, it's probably because of how trapped I felt. Alex has been going on and on about the plans he has to propose to Lisa. Each and every one is more sweet, thoughtful, and romantic than the last. Inside I'm a little jealous of Lisa. She got her highschool sweetheart and then there's me. A lonely guy in my mid-twenties without a girl to call my own.

I let out a deep sigh and bow my head as a busy looking man in a suit rushes past me while talking on his phone. I glance up and watch as the water drips off leaves from tree branches and into small puddles pooling around the roots of the sturdy trunks. Music faintly plays through my earbuds as I walk, the sound barely audible over the busy sound of traffic and rain pattering againt the pavement.

I didn't quite realise where I was going, despite the fact that there was definately a destination to the spring in my steps, until I find myself entering the park. The park overlooking a certain lake with a bench perched underneath a large tree.

The sun is just barely setting as I sit down. My fingers run over the damp wood before I sit down with a heavy sigh. Normally I wouldn't sit in the rain on a cold night, but I needed space. I needed to distance myself from the rest of the band, and Maria helps me forget. I don't know if she'll even be here, but she's definitely a bonus to this location.

I lazily pull my phone from my back pocket and press on the volume knob until Vic Fuentes' voice is pounding in my ears. I figure if I can't drown out my anxiety, the music can. Everyday I dread waking up and facing the real world, and every night I shy away from sleep and the dreams, the nightmares. It all terrifies me.

I shouldn't be this way. I'm Jack Barakat. I'm supposed to be the uplifting one, I'm supposed to be cheerful and easygoing. I'm not supposed to be drowning in thoughts about dying. I'm not supposed to suffocate as a great weight presses against my lungs so I can't breathe, like there's a persistent force wishing I'd stop.

I blink away the tears in my eyes, who knows who's watching me. The crunch of footsteps alerts me of the fact I'm not alone. I turn my head and a small smile forms on my lips as I notice a familiar looking girl approaching me.

Her head is bowed and her hands are shoved deep into the pockets of her coat. My smile slowly slips as I watch her glance up and then meet my gaze. Her usually warm irises are clouded with tears, upon the sight of me she quickly dashes a hand across her eyes in an attempt to wipe away the pools of sadness gathering in them.

My heart clenches at the sight.

"Hey, Jack. What are you doing here?"

I shake my head. "What's wrong?" I ask, completely ignoring her question.

She shrugs. "It's Mark." She mumbles before taking a seat next to me. I nod before scooting over to her and hugging her tight to my body.

"What did he do?" I mumble against her soft hair.

Her shoulders shake once and she wraps an arm around my back. "He never wants to listen to me anymore. I mean, we aren't even dating, but at the same time it'd be nice to feel wanted. You know?" She sniffles and snuggles closer. "I understand that he's going through a tough time. I get that, I do. I just don't think his 'tough time' should be taken out on me." She pouts.

I nod before turning to look up at the sky. The sun is just finishing setting and a dark navy starts to wash away the faint glows of amber and rose in the clouds. The light of the stars begins to peek through the swirling darkness.

"Jack." Maria whispers after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." I nod and hug her tightly.

Eventually the topic drifts away from Mark and into lighter, friendlier topics. By two o'clock she starts to get a little bit drowsy so I pull her up by her hand and walk her back to her apartment. Her hand still clasped in mine and lazy answers tumbling from her lips. Once inside the entrance I duck my head and hastily rush to the stairs. The two of us stumble to the door before I let her go. She unlocks the door and steps inside.

"Goodnight, Jack." I hear from behind me, but when I turn around I can't see her through the closing door.

"Goodnight, Maria." I whisper back, even though I know she can't hear me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
¿so today my teacher kicked me out of class before it started?
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