A Love Like War

t w e n t y

SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Poison by All Time Low
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TRIGGER WARNING

I was a little upset. I realise now that nothing ever goes the way I want. Stella didn't want me, and Maria wanted someone else. Never me.

I stayed talking to Maria for a long time. Apparently she was very excited to get back together with Mark; I didn't share her enthusiasm.

By the time I started to walk back to the bus the sun was peeking up over the horizon. I was very tired, emotionally more than physically.

The walk is long, but for once I don't mind being alone. I don't mind letting myself think despite the manner of my thoughts. I don't mind being upset right now, and that scares me.

When I think, my thoughts are anything but pleasant. They range from dark to dangerous. From depressed to suicidal.

I wasn't always like this. There was a time when I didn't want my life to end. I wanted to keep fighting.

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

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The sky wasn't a clear blue, and it wasn't raining. A few scattered clouds dotted the expanse of sky visible between the buildings, but not in a memorable way. Nothing about that day was memorable.

I was walking through the streets on my way to meet a girl. Not that I wanted to, but management had set us up. It was an arranged date. It bothered me.

I think they blackmailed me to go, but I didn't care so much. I hated the idea of it already.

Four months, I reminded myself. Four months and the relationship will be over. I was already counting down the days.

I walked into the restraunt and sat alone at a table for two, which at the time seemed very dramatic. I sat, and quickly ordered two glasses of water. I'd decided to lay off the alcohol for a while, and it was a good idea too, because I had no idea how I would've responded with alcohol in my system when Stella walked through the doors.

She was gorgeous. Her black hair was cut short and rested just above her jawline in a choppy mess. She scanned the small room before catching my eye and smiling.

I was a goner in that moment.

Her blue eyes sparkled with so much life, a secret joke hiding in the corner of her soft lips. Her white teeth blinded me periodically as she smiled easily at my jokes.

We didn't talk about dating, the conversation never came up once, despite it being the reason we were both here. We never asked the stereotypical first date questions. Our conversation never ran dry. There was an endless list of things to talk about. She was a little mind blown when I bashfully mentioned I liked Katy Perry. I was shocked when she responded with the answer that she liked Slipknot. They're very different on the music scale, but I liked her originality.

I grinned happily as we walked back from the date. Our hands had tentitively woven together, but she smiled as i swung them between us as we neared her house.

"I had a great time. I honestly thought you would be an up-yourself prick." She mumbles after a moment with a light laugh.