"The Perks of Being An Infinite Blue Ribbon"

Chapter 1

I regret it, I can't believe I turned away so quickly, giving up my only chance of speaking up, to be discovered, to know my greatest potential not even my mind knows of me. If only my mind would stop playing on me, I had thought of a way to put up the words leading to the ideal topic of our thesis proposal. C'mon, I should stop this non-sense, this gradual regrets I always have since I pretended to be more naive among the others. I should stop, one day, I'll come out of this shadow and prove that I can be better than them!

... Even if I know I can't...

I shall once again prevail in darkness, hide under sleek blankets of embarassment as my silence turns me into a mysterious pathetic. This depression is killing me...

I need someone to hug me by my side...

An ecstatic fantasy I know that wouldn't really come true for a person like me who stays in the shadows, never even knowing I existed in the first place...

I'm hopeless...

But I held back all the tears I had, tears that shed grief and guilt of being a beddriden teenage boy who has a softer heart than a girl. Them cheaters be like using popularity to enter the realm of leadership, not even knowing that other silent people are in line to take their rightful place... And yet they thwart me... Thwart our kind...

I rolled to the side of my bed, thinking so deeply around my devoted imagination. I began thinking of impossible ways to get my attention an show those people what I can do. In short, I'm slowly giving them a painful death in my mind, but fine I'll give them a chance to exist on my knowledge. After all, I don't literally kill people.

Later towards the midnight bell, I stood up my bed as quickly as I did, starting to feel this dizzy sensation that rubbed against my brain and my eyes. Then later, my vision faded to black as I felt like fainting back to my bed, such a ridiculous thing to occur, but weirdly true. It was past 12 midnight and I just wanted something milky for me to drink, like... Milk.

Oh no, it was just after 12! Okay, I can do this, no running. Okay, let's go down the stairs crap it's so silent. No yeah. Mother of light its so dark someone turn on the lights for me! Okay yeah slowly let's now think of Spongebob. It's a happy day! And I'm gonna get some milk! Mother of sweet chocolate monkeys its frickin' 12 at midnigh shut up! And yeah!!! Ugh finally, some light. Now let's turn on some lights, then this one, okay lets turn all the lights on. Crap, it's still feeling scary maybe I might see a shadow of a ghost!

Yeah, let's turn on the TV.

... Oh yeah much better! Them background sounds of cartoons giving me a sign of company.

Come on, let's see... There's the milk, and what is that? Hmmm...

Some left-over condensed milk from mom's well-crafted Graham fruit cake... Should I eat it or, yes I should eat it!

"Ommmyuh." I mumbled, slurping the gooey texture of the sweet mixture as it went around my mouth. I need some more.

The swinging door to the living room then opens as I had this mini-heart attack, I thought it was a ghost... Crap, it's my little bro...

"ROBIN!!!" Exclaiming my nickname, he comes in closer with his fists clenched. I am so dead when he tells me to mom.

Deeply panthing, he gave me this angry stare, unsure of what he was indeed feeling. Looking down slowly at the condensed milk I drank in front of the fridge, he grabbed it wholesomely.

"Lemme' have some!" He states while we started making noisy arguments, echoing through the halls of the kitchen as we both solemnly made statements hypocritely to each other.