letters to dan // dan smith

Chapter 20

The next morning, Beth is woken by a rustling of sheets. She sits up, pulling the blanket around herself. Looking around groggily, she realises it's still dark.

"Dan?" Her voice is still hoarse, and she rubs her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry, did I wake you? My plane's in two hours, I've got a cab," he tells her, looking sad.

"Can I come to the airport with you?"

"Do you really want to? I mean... it's early and-"

"I'll come. I'm not gonna see you for three months. I want to look at you as long as possible."

"Same with you," he grins. "You gotta get dressed though, we're leaving in half an hour."

Beth nods, climbing out of bed, shuddering when her feet hit the cold wooden floor.

She finds a pair of leggings she'd left here a while back and Dan's hoody, and pulls on a pair of converse. Dan throws some last bits of clothing into his suitcase and shuts it. Beth sits on the bed yawning widely, and Dan sits down next to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Beth rests her head on his shoulder and hugs him back. They stay like that until Dan's phone buzzes, alerting them that the taxi's arrived. Dan picks up his suitcase and carry on bag, which has his laptop, phone, wallet and a book.

"I'll bring you food before you come home, so you've got something to eat," Beth tells him, and he realises that she's doing the thing she does when she's nervous. She chatters on about nothing.

Dan fiddles with his keys for a moment, before detaching one and giving it to Beth.

"Come by any time you want, okay? Please don't lose the key, it's my only one." Dan tells her.

Beth stares at the key as if it's made of gold.

The cab toots, and Dan opens the door, letting Beth through first.

The walk down the stairs hand in hand, not letting go until they get in the cab.

"London airport, international terminal please." Dan tells the driver, who nods and drives away.

Beth yawns again, and leans against Dan, who automatically wraps his arms around her, and Beth doesn't move, enjoying his warmth, and soon after, she's asleep.

***

"Beth... Beth." Dan nudges her gently, and she opens her eyes, looking around. The sun's up, and the ground is wet from last night's rain. "Come on. Let's go."

The driver opens the door on Beth's side, and she climbs out and waits for Dan to get his stuff from the boot. Dan pays the driver, and they enter the airport together.

Dan checks in, and then they go on a hunt for breakfast. Beth finally spots a small bakery in a secluded area of the airport, so they sit there. Beth orders a coffee and a muffin, while Dan sticks with water. He'll eat on the plane.

Beth is quietly dreading the moment when Dan leaves, hoping she won't break down. She'd hurt Dan enough times. They sit in silence for a while, until Beth breaks it.

"We'll Skype every day? And you'll call when you arrive? And send me lots of photos and-"

Dan grabs her hand. "Beth... listen. You are the most special person in my life right now. You'll be on my mind all the time, don't worry about that. I'll miss you a billion times more than you can imagine, I'll be thinking of you every spare minute..."

Beth's eyes are shining, and she rubs at them furiously. "I-" Her voice breaks, so she stops, not trusting her voice, and takes a gulp of coffee. She looks up at Dan, who looks fit to cry himself, and in an attempt to change the subject says "if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

"You better answer that yourself, because I'd go wherever you're happy," Dan says, smiling.

Beth blushes. "France, Czech Republic, Australia, Thailand, Spain, Italy, New Zealand."

Dan's typing into his phone, and Beth looks at him questioningly.

"I'm writing them down, because I want to make sure I remember to take you to all these places."

The loudspeaker crackles, and a female voice announces "Flight B534 British Airways to Las Angeles is now open for check in, please make your way to the check in desks as soon as possible."

Dan stands, and picks up his bags. Beth's heart is racing, she's not sure if she'll be able to compose herself. Together, hands entwined, they walk to the check in desk, and Dan gives away his suitcase and collects his tickets. They both glance at the long queue, and Beth notices the rest of the band already in line.

"Well... this is where we say bye I guess," Beth's voice is quivering.

Dan puts his bag down, hugging Beth tightly, and she clings to him for dear life, not wanting to let go. Beth blinks back tears, and then she lets go and kisses him.

"Good luck on the tour," she says.

"Thanks."

"Well... bye..." Beth looks down at the ground, knowing that if she looks up at him again she'll cry.

Dan picks up his bag. "Bye Beth." He turns, and walks towards the queue, and Beth starts crying. Dan's nearly at the queue when he turns back to wave, and notices Beth's tears. He turns around, and walks back to her quickly, dropping his bag, and hugging her, lifting her slightly, so her feet barely reach the floor.

"Don't cry Beth, or I'll cry. I'll be back before you know it. Please, Beth."

In response, Beth clings to him tighter and sobs.

"Beth..." Dan sighs. "I love you Beth."

"I love you too," Beth's voice is croaky.

"Then please, don't cry," he begs, setting her down, giving her one last kiss.

Beth wipes at her eyes. "Okay... how not to cry. Okay. I'll see you in three months Dan," she smiles through the tears still dripping down her face.

Dan turns and leaves, not looking back this time. Beth stands there right up until the moment Dan's in the plane, and even after, waiting for them to shut the door, before she starts crying again. It's not really crying, but tears still pour steadily, like a metronome, down her face. She takes a seat by the window, watching the plane take off, waving at it a little bit, still wearing Dan's hoody.

After the plane is truly out of view, she leaves the airport and waves down a cab, telling the driver Dan's address.

There, she climbs into his bed, and feeling slightly comforted by his lingering scent, she wraps herself in his blankets and falls asleep.

***

While Beth's sleeping, Dan is wide awake, half-watching a movie, and scrolling through photos on his phone. There's Beth fiddling with flowers in the meadow, and there she is again, laughing, her mouth full of food. Then there's a whole series of sneaky photos he'd taken of Beth without her knowing, then eventually noticing, so there's six or seven of her advancing towards him with her arms out-stretched, finishing with a photo of Beth collapsed on top of Dan, laughing in defeat. He scrolls through an endless amount of photos, finally reaching the ones from Beth's birthday, only the night before. He smiles to himself, noticing how happy everyone looks, and leans over to show Will a particularly amusing photo of him. Dan sits there, wondering. When was the last time he'd truly been happy? Before Beth, he couldn't even remember.