letters to dan // dan smith

Chapter 27

(this whole chapter is in beth’s pov)

Chapter 27

The first surprise

I told Dan not to blindfold me, I honestly did. Blindfolds make me nervous, so naturally when I’m standing beside the car, and someone grabs me from behind, I am going to swing my arms out. So it’s Dan’s fault I wacked him in the nose, not mine. I warned him.

So Dan gives up on the stupid blindfold, because he had no tissues to use for his nose, which is bleeding. I should probably feel guilty or something, but no. He’s sitting on a chair clutching the scrap of material to his nose, while I stand over him, awkwardly patting his head whilst taking in my surroundings. I think it’s safe to assume that the surprise was a hot air balloon ride, because apart from a vast area of land, there’s nothing to look at except hot air balloons.

“The surprise is a hot air balloon ride, isn’t it?” I voice my thoughts.

“Yes,” he grumbles, annoyed that a) I guessed the surprise, and (judging the his pointed look at his nose) b) that I’d whacked him in the face.

“I told you no blindfolds,” I tell him, flashing a grin.

“I told you it was supposed to be a surprise,” he retorts.

“I told you – no fricking blind folds,” I cross my arms.

“I told you to write a bucket list. No surprises. But you’re too lazy.”

“Hey! I have every right to be lazy,” I say pointedly.

“Fine, we both suck. How’s that?”

“Perfect,” I laugh as he stands, scrunching up the blindfold and throwing it in a nearby bin.

“Okay, come on. Can we go now?” He asks impatiently, tugging me over to a hot air balloon with a massive basket, easily bigger than the rest of them.

We get settled in it, the wicker seats the line the basket surprisingly comfortable. When Dan pulls a cord hanging from the middle of the balloon we start to rise slowly. Dan stands, looking over the edge, his mouth agape. He calls me over, telling me he’s never seen anything like this before. I don’t really want to ruin his fun, so I swallow down my fear of heights and join him, trying not to look down. Rather, I look out, taking in the sunrise (because this is when it’s the stillest, no wind makes a smoother flight). The sunrise and the forest and the empty roads and everything overwhelms me because who knows I might never see anything like this again. I move closer to Dan, trying not to think in such long thoughts. It wears me out to be honest. Dan puts his arm around me and rests his cheek on the top of my head.

The second surprise

We drive for hours, and I think I sleep at some point. Dan tries to keep up the chatter, but I’m just not in the mood for it. And I feel awful, because whatever this is, Dan promised it was even more special than the balloon ride. He’s so excited; he put so much effort into it. I just want to go home and sleep and maybe cry a little. I try to smile for him.

We pull into a small road surrounded by trees, and suddenly I know exactly where we’re going. Oh no. I am so going to cry. This place… It’s fricking sacred to me. Oh no.

We stop a few hundred metres away from a massive tree, and walk towards the meadow. At the tree, I stop and lean against it, trying to catch my breath. I seem to be weaker by the day, and it kind of scares me to be honest. Dan asks if I’m okay. I nod, unable to speak, because I’m suddenly choked up. Carved into the bark of the tree is Dan+Beth. Beneath it, scratched into the bark are two stars that cross over. I stare at it, and suddenly I understand. Star-crossed. Lovers who were both destined to die. And yet, we both cheated death, more than once. Maybe I just used up my chances those years ago back in Manchester. Never have I ever regrated those actions more than now. Maybe if I’d tried one less time, maybe I wouldn’t have been given basically a death sentence just when I didn’t need it. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want it.