Lights, Cameras, & Harry Styles

39: London, Coffee, & Harry Styles

—Amber—

It's been four months since the premiere. My father's advice did help me realize a lot of things. I loved Harry and if I could go back and change everything, I would. It was always the risk of getting hurt that I feared. I found myself living with a lot of regrets. There's nothing I can do now. Harry and the boys are finishing off the tour. They recently did an interview and Harry seemed a lot better than how I'd seen him at the premiere. He was laughing, smiling, and joking along with his band mates. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd already forgotten me; erased me from my mind as if I was never there.

I've talked to Niall, Louis, and the other lads. We've kept in touch. I stopped asking them about Harry and they stopped mentioning him. I don't think Harry knew they boys and I still talked. I don't think the boys have told him. I wasn't going to ask either. If he truly has forgotten me, then I wished I could do the same and forget him. Sadly, it's not that easy. I've been able to push him out of my mind, but never permanently. The curly-haired boy with green eyes and a beautiful smile will always find a way back on my mind...and forever stay in my heart.

The day after the premiere I had a movie audition in London. I booked one of the minor roles, so now I'm staying here in London until shooting ends. Thankfully, that meant today. It was a nice escape though. The cast was great. I made a lot of new friends, some of which I know I'll be keeping in touch with for the rest of my life. Some like Carrie.

"What's on your mind?" Carrie -who had played the lead role in the movie- asks me. She swings her arms as we walk along the sidewalk, her dark ponytail bouncing.

"Nothing." I lie, answering her with a shrug.

"It's not nothing, Amber." She rolls her blue eyes. "You've been quiet the entire walk."

"Just reminiscing." I decide to admit. "That's all."

Carrie throws me an odd look. "You do that a lot." She points out. "Getting lost in your thoughts. You've never told me why."

"And I don't think I ever will." I sigh, flashing her a sad look. "Sorry, Carrie. It's not a subject I want to talk about. Not now, not ever."

"I understand." Carrie smiled sympathetically at me. "This is it, by the way." We come to a stop at the hotel we'd both been staying at. Carrie had to catch a plane to the states for another movie audition while I was simply going to stay another night before I headed off to Holmes Chapel in the morning.

"I'll miss you." She pulls me into a hug, towering over me by a few inches. She was pretty tall. "I'll miss you too." I tell her. "Good luck at your audition."

She nods as we break apart. "Thank you. Keep in touch, eh?"

"Of course." I smile.

Carrie waves before striding over to her black Camaro, pulling open the door. "Bye!"

"Bye." I wave back, watching her slide into the driver's seat and disappear behind the tinted windows. As she pulls out of the driveway, I silently make my way into the hotel. There was no one in the lobby when I walked in. Passing the front desk my eyes flicker to the ongoing TV in the corner. Five familiar faces were smiling back at me from the screen, one smile more vibrant than the others. I recognized this as one of One Direction's old interviews before I've ran into Harry at that party; the party that caused my life to spiral out of control in both negative and positive ways. Though the audio was down to its lowest, the silence of the lobby made it possible for me to hear what was being spoken.

"I've never been in love." Harry tells the interviewer, answering a question I didn't hear. "I've had girlfriends, but I've never really been in love with any of them."