The Cinder

Diego {4}

When I was younger I wanted to be an astronaut.

Like any other kid, I had been fascinated with stars and moon, wanting to go there.

Back then I hadn't known how moon really looked like.

It was Delos who brought the pictures of Neil Armstrong landing on moon.

Delos was the one with rock star dreams.

He wanted to show me how cool he would be as a performer while I'll be researching upon ugly things.

But when I actually saw the surface of the moon, got to know how it appeared so shiny, there was no stopping me.

Earlier I was fascinated with its beauty, now I was obsessed with its flaw and moreover its ability to reflect the sunlight.

In my mind Sun had been the scary gangster while Moon had been a fragile damaged lady.

I used to think the sunlight was the anger of Sun that it sent towards the Moon to scare her away.

But she hadn't. Despite her flaws, her tainted beauty, she still fed from his light, his anger and reflected it back.

As if to throw his threats back on his face.

"You can't scare me away. No matter how dark I am, I will still fight your evil light."

That bravado has allured to me like nothing else.

I had converted my dream into my passion to be an astronaut.

Until I reached high school and got distracted by... uh, certain activities.

No longer was I interested in going to space where there'd be no fun like the one my body was starting to crave.

But every often so I'd wonder what would have happened if I'd ever got to the Moon.

The journey wouldn't have been an easy one, I'd have to fight in my way a lot, go through numerous obstacles.

But would the end result prove to be worthy?

Leaving the illusion of outer beauty, the false bravado of reflection and finally looking at the darkness.

Would that be really worth it?

Now I knew my answer.

One look at Rosanne lying vulnerably beneath me with all her secrets exposed and at my mercy, I knew it was all worth it.

Those fights, all her ways to push me away, barriers created by the Brooke and Delos.

Finding and fighting my way through all that to finally reach her was all worth it.

Yes she has flaws. She had done things she wasn't proud of, no matter the circumstances.

Her soul was darkened at some areas.

But all those things only made her more beautiful, more exquisite.

Moreover despite the damage done to her, she didn't lose her ability to reflect back.

To throw the light back on those evil bastards.

There was something else I realized while looking at her as she looked at me with such a soft intensity that I was melting from within.

I realized that the bravado was always false.

Those who were said to be brave because they did not fear were actually stupid idiots, not brave.