accidental love • n.maloley「✓」| EDITING

seven

anderson

"my parents were a little disappointed but understood that it wasn't entirely my fault," nate tells me. "they support me no matter what i decide to do, though."

"that's great, just as long as they support you," i say, holding the phone between my ear and shoulder as i add some more seasoning to my chili.

"yeah," he says. "i also told one of my friends. he got a girl pregnant about six months ago and i was just asking him about everything. y'know, was he nervous, did he think he wouldn't be good enough, the usual, and then towards the end i eventually told him. and y'know, he kinda made me see things differently than what i was."

"such as?"

"well, i asked him if he was in my situation, with the baby momma not wanting the baby and being put in the decision making section, where he'd have to choose between raising it solo or putting it up for adoption, what would he do. and his response was that he'd never give his baby up, because he helped make it. that he'd never want another man calling himself the father of his baby. and after thinking about it, i realized he's right. why would anybody ever give up their child? i mean, that baby is literally half of you, so why just toss it away to anyone?"

"so you're gonna keep the baby when it's born?" i ask, turning the burner off before grabbing the spoon and stirring my chili.

"well, that's the thing," he says, sighing. "i don't want to give my baby away, even if the baby wasn't planned, but at the same time, i don't want to be a dad yet. like, i won't lie, i'm definitely not mature enough to be a single parent."

"you'd mature quickly, trust me," i tell him. "not that i'm trying to pressure you into keeping the baby, i'm just saying. if you did keep the baby, you pick up on things and mature quickly."

"i gotcha," he says. "but what about you?"

"what about me?"

"what would you do, if you were in my situation?" he asks.

"personally, i'd never be able to give my baby away. i love babies and kids way too much to ever give my own away," i tell him.

"i'm just scared," he says. "if i'm scared shitless and it's only the beginning, what's it gonna be like once we near the end?"

"it's gonna be hell."

"wow, thanks anderson," nate mumbles sarcastically, and i laugh.

"i'm just being honest! would you rather me lie?"

"at this point, yes," he chuckles.

"if you're already wanting me to lie, i don't wanna be around at the end," i joke.

"but you will be right?" nate asks, his tone now serious. "like, you're gonna stick with me until the end, right? i mean, just until the baby's born."

"of course, nate. i'll always be here to listen," i say, moving my pot of chili from one burner to another, so it's no longer on the hot burner but on a cool one.

"thank you, anderson. and i mean that, you seriously don't know how glad i am that you actually answered and listened to my drunk ass ramble on that night."

"me too," i say. "i'm glad too."