Dream a little dream of me

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Pain. The pain was everything. All he could see was black and all he could feel was the pain. He wanted it to end. He needed it to end. This wasn't okay.
The darkness seemed to seep away like water going down a drain. He was staring up at a girl, her eyes green and dull. She was kneeling on his chest, the bandana over the bottom half of her face was close to touching his neck. Her black clad knee was on his chest and she seemed to be mumbling something. Strands of black hair hung from her braid and framed her face.
Her mumbling got louder and more clear, and soon he could hear every word.
"Wake up, you fool. Wake up and help."

Bucky shot up in bed, the cool sheets falling to his hips. His breaths came out ragged and shallow, his chest rising and falling unevenly. He closed his eyes and leant his head back on the headboard. His heart was beating fast, and he swore he could hear it echoing inside the room.
These dreams have been happening ever since he came back to Steve. But now, he didn't know if they were dreams anymore. They seemed to be important, maybe memories.
He came to the conclusion that he didn't want to go back to sleep, and that even if he did his body wouldn't let him. He got out of bed and walked towards the door. His room was big, bigger than what he had back in Brooklyn. Outside his room, the hallway lights were on;a bright contrast to the darkness of his room.
Bucky put his hand over his eyes as a shield, before slowly blinking his eyes and walking towards the kitchen. The tower was cold, as it was every night, but somehow this cold seemed different. It seemed like it wasn't the tower that was cold, but his senses.
He needed a cup of coffee.
The kitchen wasn't far from his room;a left turn at the end of the hall. everything still seemed new to him, the fridge and the coffee maker and the microwave. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to it, but he's glad he at leats knows how to use the coffee maker.
He grabbed a mug and set it down under the nozzle. He pressed a button and the coffee started doing its thing. While his coffee was being made, he ran a hand through his hair.
Maybe I should cut it, he thought. The coffee finished with a beep and Bucky grabbed the steaming mug.
He took a small sip at first, not really wanting to burn his tongue. But maybe some pain would do him good. He sat down on the wooden stool at the island and slid his hands over the cool marble.
"Couldn't sleep?" A voice asked, making Bucky snap his head up. Tony.
Bucky shook his head, not really feeling like talking.
"Alright."
Bucky realized that he was grateful for Tony sometimes. He was grateful that Tony disliked talking about the same things he did, so they never had to talk about it together.
I killed your parents. I'm sorry, was all he wanted to say. He knew he couldn't, it would break whatever friendship they had. Tony started making himself a cup of coffee, whistling under his breath.
Bucky sighed into his mug, enjoying the quiet whistling. Tony came and sat down on the opposite side of the island, sipping his own coffee.
His cup was much bigger then Bucky's, it almost looked like a mug.
"Why are you awake?" Bucky asked, his voice rough from sleep.
"I had a project to work on, now I'm done and there's no point in sleeping. It's too early now." Tony said, putting his mug down on the table.
Tony flicked his gaze around the room a few times, sometimes landing on Bucky's face. His fingers seemed to twitch on his mug, almost as if he were nervous.
"You sure you don't wanna talk about it? You seem like you do, but it's not like I know what you--nevermind. You probably don't." Tony's voice seemed off from his usual snarky and confident tone, now it seemed a little bit jumpy.

"Dreams. Nightmares. Memories. They all mix into one." Bucky said, his eyes glaring into his coffee.
Tony didn't actually expect an answering, only a nod of the head.
"What do you mean by that? Those three are completely different things." Tony said, drinking his coffee.
"Maybe for you or Steve, but not for me. I don't know which one is which."
"So dreams are what's keeping you up? Why? Are they really that bad?"
Bucky shrugged, "I don't know. My body doesn't allow me to sleep once I have one."
Tony hummed into his coffee, not really knowing how to respond to that.
They drank their coffee in silence, both not knowing what to say to the other. Soon, Bucky's coffee was done and he went to put his mug in the dishwasher.
"You hungry?" Tony asked, eyeing the back of Bucky.
Now that he thought about it, he did feel kind of hungry.
"You cook?" Bucky asked. He was always more open and talkative in the early hours--or late hours, if you wish--.
"Of course, I cook!" Tony exclaimed, throwing his hand dramatically.
"My mother and Jarvis taught me when I was young. It's not that hard."
Bucky turned around from the dishwasher and laid back on the counter.
"There was a girl."
Tony raised his eyebrows at him, not sure what he meant by 'there was a girl.'
"Like, in real life? Or in the dream?"
"in the dream."
"Did she say anything? This could be something."
"She called me a fool and told me to 'wake up and help'. I don't know what it means."
Tony took a breath, his eyes staring off into the wall.
"We need to tell Steve when he wakes up. This could be a memory, Bucky.

******

"A girl?" Steve asked. Now the whole team was up and sitting around the kitchen island. It was routine for them to sit in one person's kitchen and have breakfast together.
Bucky nodded, playing with the eggs Tony cooked up.
"Do you think she's real?" Natasha asked, sipping her own coffee.
"She felt real," Bucky said, putting a forkful of egg into his mouth.
"A lot of dreams can feel real, Bucky," Nat said.
"Maybe, but this felt real. I feel like I know her."
"Do you think she was another one of you? Another soldier?" Steve asked eyeing Bucky with worry.
Bucky hesitated before nodding. The table went silent.
"We need to find her then. No way should anyone have to go through any of that again." Steve said, and his voice held a final tone in it.
The team all hummed their agreements.
They would find her and save her, no matter what.

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