I fumbled around at mamas went for a horseback ride on a trail we made along the Muckalee Creek. When I got back I walked out to watch the sun go down on the pier and I had a few beers. The thought of my siblings filled my mind. I missed them.
"Sure I was 28. Sure I was single. Sure I guess I was lonely. Sure I guess I still acted as if I was a child." I thought. "I was living the dream. I was still basically a kid just Doin my thing." I chuckled to myself.
I was in no rush to be tied down, to marry someone, to make that big of a commitment. I drank my last gulp of beer and stood up. I was leaving tomorrow back for Nashville.
I drove the gator back up to the house and my parents and I talked and chatted and watched some tv and then I went to bed.
***
My alarm went off so I got out of bed put on some grey shorts I had had and a red Georgia shirt. I put on my black buck commander hat that I just got this summer and grabbed my shades and put them on my head.
"Thanks mamma." I said. "Thanks daddy." I said.
"Oh Luke I wish you could stay longer."
"I know Mama. I with I could too. I just have to head on tour in a week and I have things to do at home." I said. "I'll be back home before you know it again."
"We'll miss ya son. Drive safe." daddy said.
"Always do Pops." I said giving him a hand shake then hugging mamma and kissing her cheek. "Love you guys." I said.
"Love you too." They both replied back. I walked down the porch and down the rock path to my truck.
"Bring a girl next time! Ya hear?" Mamma yelled.
"Ya ya." I said laughing. She just did it to tease me and I knew that.
I was headed for the cemetery.
I walked up to the gate and walked in. Kelly and Chris's graves laid next to eachother. There was a plot opened for Lee right by Kelly and then my parents. The Bryan family sorta had their own area.
"Christmas isn't the same with you guys up there." I said pointing beyond the clouds. "I see the Flowers Lee and the kids left for you." I chuckled. Then the silence came. The silence that was there for 15 minutes everytime I came. I would tear up and they'd role down my face but not this time. This time they poured out. "I miss you guys so much." I said In between sobs and cries. "I wouldn't be where I am doing my thing if it wasn't for you." I cried. "Why did you have to go?" I looked at the graves then back up to the sky.
I remember coming here seeing Chris with Kelly last Christmas and three years ago coming alone. And now it's just me. Me visiting the both of them. Boy did time fly. "I hope you guys are doing great up there." I paused. "Actually I know you guys are. How could you not?" I smiled looking into the clouds. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about them.
About a hour and a half passed. "I better head home back to Tennessee." I said to them. "I love you guys." I turned and walked away.
*
Nashville 3 miles ahead. I read the sign. "Country music lives here." Another read. It felt good to be back. I pulled into my house that was located in town. I just bought land out of Nashville a few months ago and I need to build a new home on it get rid of this town house and move out there. Out in the quiet.
Once I finished unpacking I just sat in my bed in my room watching the outdoor channel. I checked my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. And I was texting some people.
Bruce: I'll be there in a few then.
Me: sounds good
My good friend Bruce was coming over just to hang out and have a beer. It was so quiet here, I thought.
My door bell rang so I ran down the stairs "hey bud." I said shaking his hand.
"It's been a while." He said.
We talked about Christmas, our jobs, and family.
"Ya I am goin to the big New Years party in New York." I laughed.
"Why so funny? That's cool!"
"Well I don't have like a special some one to share it with. I thinking about asking Paige though." I said.
"You should that'd be fun. And Paige is so sweet."
"I would just ask her as friends." I clarified. "I don't like her like that."
"Well then. Do it."
"We are goin for dinner tomorrow night so I was gonna see what she was up to." I said. Then walking to the fridge giving Bruce another beer and getting one for me. Then leaned against the L shaped island facing Bruce. "How's you're woman?"
"She's good, we are good. I think things are getting more serious now." He said happily.
"That's great."
"You need to find a girl so we can double date." I joked. "Who was your last girlfriend? And when?" He asked.
"Well my last serious relationship was probably four years ago." I said thinking if that was right. "No it was five years but I was seeing Jasmine four years ago but nothing got serious to count that as a relationship."
"Well who was the one five years ago?" He asked.
"Her name was Naomi." I chuckled and Bruce gave me a weird look. "Well, we dated for like three months but she was really mean. I can't believe we dated. I was just dumb."
"I remember that."
"Yeahh. Jasmine I guess was maybe my last real relationship. I don't know we weren't 'official' but I brought her home for Christmas and all that."
"Well why are you on the search?"
"Before Kelly passed I was on the search and I thought I found a girl but I couldn't bring myself to be more than friends. I just don't think I'm able to love." I paused. "I just doesn't work for me. I just figured wait for the right one to come around."
"That's okay though. And you'll know when you find the one. She will come around." He assured.
"I know."
Him and I just continued talking and bullshitting until about 10:30. Bruce said he had to leave so he left the. I decided to go to bed.
