killer»phan

#05

dan.

i can hardly remember the last time i enjoyed school.

i used to love learning. i used to love seeing other kids my age, becoming friends with them. i was happiest there.

now it's the complete opposite. i'm saddest there.

i think it started when derek reynolds moved here. everyone loved, loves, him. he's a football player, best on the team. straight a student. he's the perfect guy. good at everything.

especially good at ruining my self esteem, ruining my good mood. ruining everything.

it all started in second grade, i saw him at my bus stop. i smiled and waved, noticing how he was new.

i used to love meeting the new kids. now they terrify me.

he noticed my wave and returned it, if only i had noticed the evil grin that had spread across his face as he looked me over.

"hey, im dan!" i brightly shouted, over-excited.

"derek." he seemed friendly enough.

after that first encounter, it all went downhill. soon he was teasing me, fighting me.

it was like a boxing match, he was the one winning and there was no referee to finish the fight.

second grade, it was name calling.

third grade, i was the gay loser.

it all progressed from there.

when we started high school he found me everyday. bruises littered my face and body.

but i deserve it.

nothing surprised me more than the feeling of excitement when i awoke this morning. every other monday morning was a nightmare, i wouldn't want to leave my bed, barely ate, and craved a sharp pain in my wrist.

but for some reason i can't wait to get out of my house.

can't wait to see phil.

"dan! get up, the bus is here!" i heard my adoptive mother, she got me when i was six, after school called cps, calling from downstairs, the worry present in her voice.

"already up!" i shout as i race down the stairway, smiling when i see her shocked face.

"what the hell? you hate mondays."

"not this one. and i'm not riding the bus, phil is picking me up." i tell her as i grab the antidepressants from her open palm.

her face changed from worry to mischievous.

"phil? your boyfriend?" she grinned as my face turned red and patchy.

"shut up mom, he's not my boyfriend." i hurriedly stumble over my words, wishing phil to hurry up.

"mhm."

i breathe a sigh of relief when i see a black haired boy step out of his car and into my driveway.

"there he is! bye mom." i plant a kiss on her forehead and run out the door, hurrying as to avoid her inviting him inside.

"hang on, i wanna meet hi-" she started to say, but the door shut out the rest of her sentence.

"come on hurry, she wants to meet you." i warn as i hop inside.

he quickly followed and started the engine.

and we were off.

A/N holy fuck i know this chapter sucks, it's just a filler bc i haven't updated in a while & i'm trying to actually finish this book instead of leaving it to gather dust. but the next chapter is coming soon and it's gonna be good! (as good as it can be considering a 14 year old angsty fangirl is writing it)