killer»phan

#15

dan.

death always seemed beautiful to me, the end of a life was like the rainbow at the end of the storm. at least that's what i thought. it's more like the eye of a hurricane, you have a false sense of security and then you get thrown into the storm again, but this time it's worse. it's dark and you don't know where you are. but you know life is over. that's all you know.

then it happens. light bathes you, but it's unnatural. white and so bright you can't see anything again. you're blinded and crying for it to stop. it doesn't, it continues until you're dropped onto the ground.

but you didn't even realize you were floating. the ground is cold. unnaturally cold. you shudder, scream and your vision is coming back. you can see where you are, but you aren't there at the same time.

it doesn't make sense.

i was back in the house, phil was there. he was crying and the knife was in my body, but i wasn't. i began crying as i looked at my dead body, causing me to scream louder.

"i changed my mind!" i begged for my life back, and i watched as my body did the same thing, causing phil to shake his head, pulling at his hair and crawling into the corner of the room, rocking back and forth.

i wanted to hug him, comfort him, kiss him. but when i tried i was just going right through him.

then i heard sirens, which caused phil to stand up and run.

"don't leave me! stop!" i cried out, sobbing and then i was alone with my dead body.

then it went black again.

i woke up in a green field, full of flowers and so big i couldn't see past it. phil was there, but somewhere else at the same time. he was sitting in a cell next to the willow tree, crying and half of his hair had been pulled out. i ran to him, but when i reached out to touch him he was gone.

i stared at the empty place where he once was, and shook my head in confusion.

i began to walk on, and the field changed into a forest, the trees popping up around me as birds began chirping. i was confused, but it was beautiful, the trees turned into memories, multiple moments from my life began playing all around me. one of me when i was three, blowing out the candles from my birthday cake, another played from my first baseball game when i was eleven, the last one i stood to watch was when i met phil for the first time.

tears formed in my eyes and i walked on, not wanting to see anymore.

i walked for what seemed like days, but the sun never went down. time didn't seem to exist. there was no more darkness, there wasn't any in my mind either. i searched for any sort of pain or anger that usually resided in my fucked up mind, but there was none.

i was happy.

but i was also scared, this place was too big and full of memories, some i don't want to remember. but i also saw the present unfold in front of me, my mom crying as she found out i was murdered. phil killing himself within the white walls of his cell. i wanted to reach out and stop them, but i couldn't. they would disappear whenever i tried.

as i was thinking all of this over, the field opened and a lake appeared, and there was a girl sitting in a boat. she was young, eleven or twelve. her hair was long and red and as i came closer it become clear that she was missing an arm.

"hello?" i called out, my voice scratchy from my previous screams.

"hello! i'm cassie." she was cheery and waved to me with her one arm.

"do you know where we are?" i asked, crawling into the boat with her invitation.

"the inbetween." she said, smiling and running her fingers through her hair.

"the what?"

"the inbetween. where you go when you die." she looked at me confused, like she expected me to know this already.

"i thought you went to heaven." i said distantly, looking at the place i was in and tried to get comfortable with the idea of me staying here for eternity.

"you do silly, but you have to travel to get there. this way you can say goodbye to your loved ones first, but don't take too long or else you'll get stuck. then you can't pass through to the other side. you'll be stuck in the inbetween forever and you won't belong to any world." she explained, and i nodded.

"i'm ready." i said suddenly, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible.

"okay then, help me row." she smiled, handing me an oar. "my murderer decided to chop my arm off."

i nodded, not wanting to ask.

as we paddled out to the middle of the lake everything finally registered in my brain, i was dead. i was going to heaven.

maybe i'll see phil there too.

phil's pov

dan would always say death is beautiful, i didn't know he was a liar. nothing about what is going on is beautiful, it's dark. suffocatingly dark. it's been like this for days now. i think it's been days, i can't tell.

i've been screaming for what seems like hours, but maybe it's been seconds. i don't know what time is anymore. all sense of it has abandoned my body and left me scared and confused. i've started praying to the god i don't even believe in, wanting this to stop. why did i have to die? is this why dan changed his mind?

then it cleared. it was no longer dark, and i was back to the same night dan died. he was laying on the table, alive. i tried to hug him, but my body was being controlled by something else, something stronger than i'll ever be. that made me hate this even more.

i was watching as i took the knife and plunged it into dan's chest, which caused him to bleed, which led to him becoming wide eyed with fear, telling me he'd changed his mind.

then it reset.

he was alive again, and i was watching me kill him over and over and over again. he told me he changed his mind over and over again, causing me to scream out in agony, but my screams weren't heard. they were trapped somewhere and left to die. i was crying, but it didn't stop me from ending dan's life yet again.

death isn't beautiful.

i watched and watched, accepting the fact that i couldn't stop it from happening; realization seeped through my broken mind.

i was in hell.

FIN.

A/N wow ok this is trash but thanks for reading!!! be sure to check out my other fanfics and follow me bc i'm working on a new one right now that should be posted by the end of this month if i stick to my schedule.

and ty so much for actually enjoying this horribly written piece of garbage, it means a lot to me. <3