killer»phan

#06

phil.

i'm quite good at reading people and their emotions, i just have no clue how to do the same for me.

like on my eleventh birthday i could tell my mom was upset because no one showed up, she had tears in her eyes and then went inside to chug a bottle of whatever liquor we had in the house. i don't know why she was upset, it was me that should have been.

but i was just fine, more cake for me.

and when i failed my seventh grade year, i knew my teacher was disappointed. her saddened features and "you're better than this"'s really showed it.

but i was perfectly fine, better luck next time.

and now, i can tell when dan is sad, happy, nervous, etc. he usually shows it through body language. a simple gesture like biting his lip and anxiously pulling at his worn black sweatshirt tells me a lot.

he's been like that a lot lately, his right hand tugging and pulling at the opposite hand's sleeve, his eyes scanning the room, always landing on derek and watching him with fear in his eyes.

and i'm not perfectly fine, dan is mine. derek can't get in my way.

i'm torn from my thoughts like a band aid from a little kid's scraped knee.

"ready?" dan asked, running across the room to my desk, recently having been moved there due to his relentless talking when he is sat next to me.

"for?"

"lunch idiot." dan said brightly, his words confident and playful, the opposite of how he usually is, shy and reserved.

i nodded and walked with him, watching as his feet slid across the concrete which made a loud scraping sound that echoed through my empty brain, making it ten times more annoying.

then he suddenly stopped and my mind was now silent.

i looked up and saw derek, standing bravely in front of both of us, obviously unaware of what i am capable of.

"hey fag, new boyfriend?" he mocked the frail brunette, who was now backing up against the wall. what looked like fear was now filled in his hazel eyes, which were quickly scanning the empty courtyard. looking for i don't know what.

"leave me alone." what meant to be confident and calm came out the complete opposite.

"not yet gay boy."

i watched all of this unfold, curious on how this will end up.

should i step in?

then i heard a loud smack.

dan was on the ground, clutching his pale face.

derek was walking away, obviously pleased with himself.

"dan! are you okay?" i tried my hardest to sound concerned.

"oh, now you say something?" dan retorted, blood dripping from his nose.

blood. 

the red flash comes back, urging me to do something i shouldn't.

not yet at least. i look away and take a deep breath.

"let's get you cleaned up." i say, holding out my hand for him to take.

"i can do it myself." he pushed my hand away and stormed into the bathroom, obviously upset.

but why?

i shrugged it off and walked to lunch, craving a chicken sandwhich.

A/N i felt bad for only leaving you guys with a shitty A/N so i finished this chap real fast, so sorRy if it isn't the best. i tried ;-;