California || Septiplier || One-shot book

San Diego

"I can't sleep cause what if I dream..."

Mark lived in San Diego back as a teenager. Grew up with his parents and brother. After Mark's father passed away at the age of seventeen, he loathed San Diego. Many things about San Diego Mark hates. The place where his first boyfriend used. The place where he was held a gun point. The place where he lost his best friend. The place where he was torture at high school daily. The place that made him cry more than he wanted to. The place where he wanted to run away. The place that tried and made him want to kill himself.

Now, Mark lives in LA. He loves LA. He lives in a nice house with his dog, Chica and wonderful boyfriend, Seàn. He loves his job. He's happy. He's content. He couldn't ask for more.

One day, Seàn asked Mark if they were going to Comic Con in San Diego. Mark wanted to go but he didn't want to go to San Diego. He promised himself that he would never return there for any reason. Seàn doesn't know what happened in San Diego. Mark refused to tell him for the longest time. Not that he couldn't trust his Irish  boyfriend of three years, Mark couldn't bare to think about all the shity times he was put through because of that place.

And think of every person I ever lost in San Diego
(San Diego)
Can't go back to San Diego
(Can't go back to San Diego)

Mark told his boyfriend, no. Seàn, of course asked why? Mark just shrugged his shoulders and continued to cook for the two. Seàn asked again when they were eating dinner. Mark told him that he didn't feel like going. Seàn didn't take that answer to a liking. The two fought during dinner over going to Comic Con. Seàn throwing around that their fans are going to be there and would want to meet them. Mark spats back with he's doesn't want to go because he doesn't like San Diego. Seàn asked why, once again. Mark took his plate to the sink and sat it in the sink. Mark told Seàn that he's not going to San Diego. Seàn groaned loudly in frustration. Telling Mark that he's making a big mistake in not going. Mark ignore his boyfriend and walk towards their room, closing their door.

Memories flood in Mark's brain. He pulls on his blue dyed hair. Mark sits on the edge of the bed, tears threatening to spill. He remembers after his father passing away; everything went down hill. He remembers Michael. His words. His voice. His actions. His laugh as he told Mark that he meant nothing to him. That he only wanted him for sex. Mark felt molested and gross. Mark slides off the bed, tear stained cheeks and tears flowing. Mark remembers when his best friend was killed by another teen texting and driving. He misses Felix so much. He remember Marzia crying. He remembers after a month of both of them not going to school that she moved back to her home place, Italy. He remembers so many tears. He remembers the school shooting. Mark and a freshman, Ken were held as hostages for ten hours and held at gun point. He remembers the guy who shot Ken's leg and ran a knife over Mark's jaw lines. He remembers the knife catching his right eyebrow. How the scar is still there. How he will always remember the shity fucked up life his had that year. Mark hears the door open. He hears Seàn's voice. His hug. He holds helpless Mark. Seàn hasn't seen Mark cry in years.

Seàn whispers to Mark what's wrong.

Mark stays silent. Only the sniffs and soft sobs escape from Mark's mouth.

Seàn kisses the top of Mark's head. It's okay, he tells his boyfriend, maybe we should go to sleep?

"I can't sleep cause what if I dream.. Of going back to San Diego.. "

Seàn was confused as to what Mark meant. San Diego? What happened in San Diego? He asked Mark what happened in San Diego.

Mark slowly explain to his boyfriend what happened in San Diego. Mark cried for hours. Seàn cried for him.

Mark told him about his father.
Mark told him about his first boyfriend.
Mark told him about being held at gun point.
Mark told him about his dead best friend.
Mark told him about his daily high school torture.
Mark told him about how he wanted to end his life his senior.

Seàn heard the pain.
He saw the fear.
He finally heard the secrets Mark hid from him for years fill his ears.
Like the ocean blue, he saw Mark's ocean.
He never knew about the mental cuts in Mark's head.
How deep they go.
Like a river, they flow.
To Mark's ocean.
How blue his dark ocean flows.

I never needed to hear
All of the pain and the fear
Your secrets filled up my ears
Like the ocean blue
I never wanted to know
How deep these cuts on you go
And like a river they flow
To the ocean blue

Mark finally relaxed and calmed down an hour after explaining his secret past. He's exhausted. He's tired. Seàn moves Mark to the bed where they lay, tangled.

Seàn told Mark that they won't go to Comic Con.

Mark nods and soon falls asleep with his boyfriend in tangled with him.

Seàn kissed Mark's cheek and whispers that he loves him.

Seàn can't sleep. He's still thinking about Mark and his rough experience with San Diego. Chica comes pawing in and jumps on the foot of the bed, laying down and sleeping. Seàn starts thinking about how life in LA is better. Hell, Mark is much happier here than he has been in a long time. He's glad that Mark is okay. He's happy that Mark told him about San Diego. Mark is brave in Seàn's eyes. He always will be. But he know that Mark can't go back to San Diego.