When She Returned- Soul Eater Fanfiction

Chapter 8- The Residential

The morning after, a tangle of limbs and a few groans of protest later (generally from the idea of early mornings), Spirit and Kami eventually got up and got ready for work. Breakfast was hasty and they productively got dressed and soon they wee both prepared to progress down to the DWMA.
The events of the previous night left Spirit in a daze. He had never experienced a nightmare so severe in his short time on this earth since he was about thirteen. They seemed to had faded into less severe since the incident, but since Asura's rise and fall... It had gotten a whole lot worse. The nightmares were more persistent; they seemed to creep up in severity each time, chilling him to the bone. Sometimes he'd wake up shaking; other times he would be paralytic and unable to move a muscle. However the worst ones would leave him begging for help and screaming- much like he did the previous night.
However, he never felt so secure as he did when Kami lay beside him. Although the nightmare was the worst he had ever had in the space of 18 years, he never woke to anyone so warm, so secure. Although she was his wife previously, he'd never been this afraid in front of her before. He stifled his screams and never asked for help. It might have been his dignity, or his promise to keep his two girls safe, but after being alone again for so long- he must have forgotten.
But he remembered how safe he felt. She was comforting and gentle and kind. He had never experienced so much safety since his own mother before her early demise.
It also was a reminder of what he lost.
Spirit felt a sting of regret. He lost Kami. He was the one who betrayed her. He still loved her with every stretch of the imagination, but he knew in his heart he wouldn't ever get her back. His adoration wouldn't win.
He lost Maka to the same fate, and he could hardly blame her disdain. He hated himself well enough.
Spirit's thought about his mother.
'Mama... I wish I was better. I screwed everything up: My marriage, the relationship with my daughter... It's my fault you're dead too... My fault dad hated me.... I'm better off dead.'
"...Spirit? Hey! You even awake?"
Kami stood next to him by the front door, observing the glassy eyes Spirit possessed. "Are you alright? You've been spacey ever since last night."
Her former husband nodded sluggishly. "Huh... I'm okay. It's just that I have a lot to do today and I am a bit behind on things, that's all."
"Sure... You take care alright? I'll make sure Professor Slime doesn't bother you."
"Ehh... Just don't get into too much of a fight with Stein, will you? The amount of times myself and Marie had to drag you both away mid-fight it's unbelievable."
Kamiki smirked. "Heh... But remember this, dear: I always win. The reason ol' Freaken Slime keeps fighting is that he can't take that I win every time."
"Ah, but Kami..." Spirit raised an eyebrow at her as they both long left the front door and walked down the streets. "Remember 3rd year Halloween-"
"Shut up. I let him win!" Kami lied, scowling.
Spirit giggled. "Sure you did." He mocked.
"Hey! I'll have you know he pressured me into losing! Ugh. He boils my blood." She protested, before sighing in annoyance. She took a deep breath and her blue eyes gazed up at his. "Okay, enough of Slimy. Can I ask something?"
Spirit looked at her. "Yeah?"
"Um... Have you... Since we uh.... Found someone else yet? Since the divorce?" Her face deepened in a blush, much like the colour of a beet root.
A similar flush crept on his own face. He sighed. "Nah... Wouldn't dream of remarrying actually... You found a good guy in your travels?" Spirit asked, nervously.
"Nope. Can't bring myself to."
"I'm sorry, Kam.."
"It's not your fault... It's just that you were the best I ever had and I can't replace that."
"What? A lousy coward who breaks your heart and can't do anything right?" Spirit spoke out. "You could do miles better than that."
Kami shook her head. "Don't say that. You did break my heart but... At least you had a conscience and felt awful afterwards. I know it's been hurting you as much as me."
They had reached the school steps. Spirit stopped and hung his head.
"Maka hates me. Everyone thinks of me as a failure. I screwed everything up. What's the point of even thinking about me?" He mumbled.
Kami gripped his collar in protest. "And you're just gonna forget all the times you carried me, protected me and healed me whenever I was injured during a mission? How you carried me through a snowdrift to the hospital after I went into unexpected labor with Maka? How you literally worked so hard so myself and Maka could eat at a night? How you overworked so much you got a hole in your stomach from malnourishment and stress from sacrificing your own meals for us, and the weeks you spent in hospital? How you spent every single stormy night with Maka until she had long fallen asleep? How you stayed in her bed and never slept during the times her asthma was severe in case she had an attack in her sleep? How you battled a long 18 years of depression and you're still living now? You are remarkable, generous, kind, loving. You'd sacrifice everything for anyone, even if it left you with nothing. You give more than you take. You love too much. And you never ask for anything in return. That's why no one could compare to you. Got it?" Kami loosened the grip on his collar. Spirit stood in silence, bewildered. He finally spoke. "You think that?"
"Yes. Would I lie to you?"
"Thank you... I never realise you felt that way after..."
"I understand. I treated you like shit, and that must have made you feel like I hated you or something... I never did. Sure, I was angry but i never wanted to hate you. I don't even remotely dislike you."
Spirit nodded. "But still, what I did had no excuse."
Kami nodded.