Divulging Remorse ✔

Chapter 5

He chuckled, stepping out of the police headquarter building. They had released him on the basis of false suspicion and that the real culprits were found. The other two guys who were brought in along with him were convicted, the third criminal involved according to the file charges was yet to be found. They suspected Moutasim to be that third culprit because they had found his car parked at the victim's house. Thus, tracing him through the car registry records, they took him in.

In the first place, he didn't even have a clue about this whole gig, didn't have dang bit of an idea what his car was doing there, he wasn't there at the crime scene, didn't see anything happening nor he knew who among his gang members were really involved other than Panther himself. He knew obviously, that Panther had cooked up something so that Moutasim could be released.

Oh, Panther, you really are some cartoon. He thought. Though the police didn't have any solid proof of Moutasim's innocence, they were still bound to let him go. That was how Panther manipulated everything, even the police seemed to be pawns of his game of chess.

The breeze became cooler as Moutasim walked past the trees that were lined along the lane. Wrapping his arms around his chest, he strolled down the road, deep in thoughts. The day was drawing out, only the faintest of light shone through the leaves. A close silence in the dim evening light, his mind was screaming the loudest.

Though it often looks like any gang member is high-handed, brassy and don't know the M of morality, but once in a while, conscience leaves a question imprinted on their minds. That question is enough to demur their existence but being helpless, they continue to do what they do. With each passing day, incompetence makes them stone-hearted, mindless jerks. However, nobody joins a gang without being a lost-soul first. No one goes to a monster for guidance unless it's their only option. But Moutasim's problems in life weren't just basic mafia ones. They were more far-fetched for a person he was or used to be...

That was because he wasn't committed to just one gang. Whoever offered him larger money, he straight went to him. He didn't know how he got dragged from one gang to four, currently three. The one being seized by the police completely and he easily slipped away like a knife out of butter. It wasn't like things in his life were completely out of control, he got what he asked for, though in a kinky way. His demand in the underworld business was so high because the way he carried out tasks was efficient, without ever getting caught, this time, was an exception and a first time, also a false alarm.

There is a fine line between making eye contact and just enough to convey deference to the gangs. Each one needed to feel that he was loyal to them only without ever having to commit, they only asked for his life if he was ever disloyal. Only.

To choose a side is to enter a fight and he had no interest in their brutal world of hate and violence. All he wanted was to live in the world where there was no human contact, the ones whom he worked weren't humans after all. They were filthy animals who would go to any lengths for money, but Moutasim had some rules of his own; he never killed innocent nor he attacked women. He only did the illegal business activities; transporting drugs to nearby countries, smuggling, property vandalism, you name it. However, it wasn't like he never took lives, he did, plenty, only because the one dying deserved nothing but death.

He carefully crossed the road through the swarm of cars. Despite the time, the hustle and bustle never came to a halt. The city's residents were off for a movie or to chill out in a smouldering boogie-woogie jazz bar in downtown. He stopped in front of the movie theatre where he used to come and catch a movie with friends or cousins. Not anymore, he couldn't remember when was the last time he did something like that. Friends or cousins? Who were they? He didn't know.

He knew only one, more like remained back at his mind, Riya. And this was the exact movie theatre where it had all begun. It took him to a good five or six years down his memory lane.

He was out with his cousins and siblings to watch a movie; there was Riya, Hufaiz, Arshiya Ammar, their sister Faarima, and himself. Leaving the younger ones out, Arshiya and Faarima, this squad had some reckless, most daring adventures together but that was all the thing of the past now. They didn't meet up much or even if they did, it was a mere coincidence, exchanging formal hellos, that was all.

So, when they were out after watching the movie, he had taken Riya aside and had said, "I've been wanting to say this for God knows how many years, but now I've got to say it. I'm always thinking about you, Riya."

Riya found it really amusing what he had said, "I know, I am like that. No one really forgets me." She replied, a small smile playing at her lips.

He held her hand and tried to impel her, "I'm serious. I've got a crush on you. I..."

Before Moutasim could finish, Riya burst out laughing while he stood there staring at her with a straight face. Between her unstoppable giggles, she managed to say, "You... what--tt? A crush?"

"It's not even funny." He said, a little offended.

Still having a mirth she replied, "But you are." 

Giving out another giggle she added, "You want me to have a crush on you back, like you and me..." She motioned her finger at him and then back at her. "Don't even think about it alright. This has to be the joke of the year!" She rolled her eyes and flicked her hair at the back, leaving him there.

He stood there watching how she ran towards their squad. While they all were huddled together, at Riya's "joke", they split apart and laughed hard. Ammar pointed at him, calling him a loser. To all of them, it looked like it was the movie frenzy that had haunted Moutasim. No one had taken it seriously, just thought it was Moutasim all down to kidding and pranking like he always does. They had reminded and teased him about his stupid-ness for days.

He stood there for a few minutes and walked ahead, jerking his head as if throwing away those memories from teenage. 

Those days when everything was good, he thought and sighed. They all had come a very long way, all going on their own paths, doing what was best for them and missing out on one another's lives.

Above the horizon, the sun lit up the glimmering smog of soot. In the far distance, the silhouette of the skyline gashed through the warm glow like a rocky hill. Millions of lights glittered the skyscrapers. Moutasim dragged his feet between pools of streetlight on the sidewalk. The sun drowned lower in the sky as the dynamic call of Adhan hit his ears. 

He turned around to look at the Masjid's minaret, it stood tall, climbing into the clouds with the fiery red orb slowly sinking behind, and threads of light lingered in the sky. He was mesmerised by the beauty that was painted by His Creator, and now he was called to submit himself to the One and feel the inner equanimity which was far more beautiful than this breath-taking sunset.

He closed his eyes, wanting to engulf this serene moment, drop by drop. His heart fluttered and a strange tranquillity seeped within. Letting out a deep breath, he walked towards the Masjid, to answer the Divine call.