Dear Diary

Chapter 11 : Want a Xanax ?

Please be Julie ! Please be Julie !

I was standing in front of Julie's door,she texted me her address and I came to pick her up. And I'm praying that she'd open the door not her parents.

The door opened.

It's not Julie.

And it's not her mom or dad.

"Can I help you ?" A tall muscular shirtless perfect abs showing good looking guy said.

"I'm here to pick up Julie" I told him.

"You know there were times I thought she was gay cause you know she never went out on a date with a boy before, but I never thought I would actually open my door to the new hot girl in school who's taking my sister out" He said leaning on The door with his hands crossed.

"Honestly I didn't think you were a lesbian when I first saw you but I guess your crazy hair makes sense now" He added.

"I don't know if I should feel flattered or insulted right now!"

So my Mahogany hair had few colorful strips in it,that doesn't make me gay.Or does it ?

"Julian leave her alone !" I heard Julie's voice coming behind Julian "Hey sorry about my brother,he can a real dick sometimes"
"It's cool" I accepted her apology.

"So where are you going ?" asked Julian with amusement on his face.
"Syrup" I answered him.
"Well well well" He tried to imitate Matthew McConhey "Look who's going to Syrup for the first time"

What's the fuss about my aunt's Dinner !

"Let's just go" Julie grabbed my hand walking away from her brother.

"Don't do anything inappropriate. It's only a first date" Julian shouted and Julie groaned.
We got inside the car and Julie said "Please go"

Thayer wasn't working when we got there so we sat down in a booth next the windows.
"So what just happened few minutes ago ?"
"My brother is an asshole that's what happened" Julie started "I never went out on a date before and I've never been kissed. I get so shy when a boy talks to me and most of the time I ran away and just because I love Taylor Swift and once I admitted I have a girl crush on her suddenly it makes all sense. I'm gay and still in the closest"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing " She looked puzzled.
"Nothing it's just funny" I was trying to calm down my laughter "And your parents think that too ?"

"Yes. And what makes it worse it's not that they think I'm gay,they hope I am" We both started laughing.
"You see my mom's your typical suburban housewife who's biggest concern is being part of as many clubs as possible and she is by the way ! The only one left is the PFLAG. That's why she wishes I'm a lesbian"

My laughter stopped and was replaced with sadness. I remembered how my mom's biggest concern was us,her family. She wasn't the type of mother who could get obsessed over her family. She had a job she cared about and loved too but when it came down to choosing between her career and family it was her family she'd always put us first.

"And your father ?" I asked

"He's running for Mayor again this year and if he has a homosexual daughter he will and I quote 'definitely grantee the gays' " She answered

My father was my hero,my friend and my idol. We had the best father-daughter relationship any girl can dream of. He was so loving and understanding. My father was the coolest.

"Hey you're still there ?" Julie put her hand on mine to snap me back to reality.
"Yeah yeah I was zoning out that's all. I do it a lot"

Julie ordered a salad and water. I had a cheese burger and a Coke and we split my fries.
She told few things about her. I can tell that she's really cool just shy to show it.
Her full name is Julliette,her mom named her after her grandmother.She's vegetarian,loves dogs she had one while growing up she named him Frank but he died two years ago. She doesn't have that many of friends mostly peers cause she's too afraid to talk to people. She said that it was a miracle when she asked to sit next to me. She loves her parents even though they don't pay her any attention and even her brother's a jerk she assured me that it's all an act and really he's her best friend. He can be very overprotective sometimes and that's one the things she loves about him. She's pretty much the ideal student,with her straight A's. She's thinking about running for class president but scared that no one will vote for her and end up as the school's joke...
For someone who's supposed to be shy and a social butterfly she sure does talk fast.

"And my favorite color is green only everyone thinks it's pink for some reason. Maybe because I wear something pink about four times a week but that's because my mom insists on doing the shopping and I--" she stopped talking when she realised that I was hyperventeling.

PANIC ATTACK !

"Are you okay ?" she asked getting out of her seat,walking to me and sitting next to me.
I pushed away from her and she looked confused.
You see she was talking way way WAY too fast and sometimes that makes a panic attack kicks in.
I gestured for her to stand up so I can get out. I walked straight to the ladies room. As soon as I got in I flashed some water. Started breathing in and out. Don't think about anything Austin just relax and breath. Inhale and Exhale. In and out.

"One,two,three,four,.." I started counting. It's an exercise I do to get my heart stop racing "Eight,nine,ten"

I'm still shaking. I sat down,back facing the wall and I brought my knees to my chest and rested my head on them.

"One,two,three,four,five,si---"

"Do you want a Xanax ?" A voice asked and I looked up.

I didn't think he was shifting today.

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