Dead of Night

Chapter 4} daydream

(your POV)

I woke up, it was bright and quite a blur at first, i then slowly looked to my side, Josh wasn't there, he was probably already up and down in the breakfast hall located on the bottom floor of the hotel, i decided to get up early, i didn't want to be late meeting mark, i want to skip all the queues. Its currently 7:30, its quite early for me but i didn't mind, this was a big days for me.

I got up from the bed, i got my outfit out that i was going to wear for the day, i made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and have a shower, i took a while in the shower to think about certain things, i let the warm water drip down my face all the way to my foot, it relaxed me in a way, i got out the shower and started to do my makeup, i wanted to look good for Mark, even thought he would probably never remember me, i didn't cake myself but it was enough to say i had made a good effort in looking good.

Once my makeup was done and my hair was dry i left the bathroom and went back the the bedroom, i put the outfit on and started to adjust myself in the mirror, making sure every piece of hair was in the right place and that there were no patches of makeup on my face, i turned around,  i got a shock, i saw josh looking at me, how long had he been there?

(Josh's POV) 

I walked back into our hotel room and saw (y/n) looking at herself in the mirror, she was doing her hair and sorting out her makeup, i couldn't help but stare, she always would judge herself in the mirror, she wanted everything to be perfect, but she found herself far from it, i just want her to see what i see, a beautiful independent woman, she couldn't see the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, or how her hair blew in the wind, she couldn't see her true beauty.

(your POV)

"oh, hi" i said in slight surprise, i waked over to him to give him a hug, he didnt look right, he hugged me back tight, i asked if he was ready to leave, he nodded as i grabbed everything we needed, we headed down to the convention, we were walking as we decided to save gas for other times, most of the journey was silent, we didnt talk to each other much, it felt weird, we came to the entrance, my heart started to race and i started to sweat.

The pool in my stomach had formed again as a familiar feeling swept the rest of my body, i grabbed on tight to Josh, he can save me from this, tears bled through my eyes, everything was turning into a blur, i felt Josh take a hold of my waist as he walked me somewhere and sat me down, i couldnt breath, i was panting, i grabbed my neck to try and get more air, but it didnt work, i could hardly see, Josh grabbed me by my cheeks, and looked at me in the eyes, my vision formed again, i could see the pain and worry in his eyes,

"its okay (y/n), im here dont worry, no one can see you, its just me and you"  

he hugged me tight and made me feel safe, the anxiety still over flowing my body, i wrapped my arms around his neck, and cried into his shoulder, we were like this for five more minutes, until i pushed away, no more tears, it was okay, he looked at me again in the eyes making sure i was okay, we stood up, hugging once more shortly, he asked if i was okay to go in,i nodded as i grabbed a hold of his hand as he lead me into the convention, i buried my head into his shirt, to hid an mascara that had been whipped across my face, he took my into the toilets, it was a baby changing one so it was large, her put the toilet seat down and sat on it, watching me sort out my makeup, i thankfully carried makeup wipes, i was getting frustrated as it wasnt budging, i put my head in my hands, this was all too stressful, i felt soft hands move mine from my face as i saw josh, he grabbed a clean wipe and started taking my makeup, he told me how beautiful was and how i didnt need makeup to make me look beautiful,this brought a smile to my face, he backed up letting me looking the mirror,it was my bare face, no makeup, nothing, for once i smiled at my reflection, i felt cute, Josh opened the bathroom door to let us out as we started to make our way around the convention, we found Marks booth, there was probably only 70 people there so far, we got in line, we knew mark wouldnt be coming until 12 and it was only 9 now. 

I sat down, Josh opposite me, we started to talk, i moved to sit in him lap, i was tired, he strokes my hair as i stare at the wall, as i fell into a tired daydream.

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I really hope you guys like this one, it took a lot of time and effort,and i hope it was okay and didnt trigger anyone, I myself have faced a few too many panic attacks, and i know its different for everyone but this was just how i felt about it xx

- Ellie