WHY WE BROKE UP | WROETOSHAW ✔️

THE ELEVENTH LETTER

THE ELEVENTH LETTER

harry,

when the letter from you came to my door, i couldn't believe my eyes. i thought you'd never reply; i thought you didn't care enough to reply.

but there's definitely no reason for me to be excited because you've got someone new now. i would never ask you to break up with her so that i could jump back into your arms. that would be selfish and cruel to you and to her.

we haven't spoken in almost two years, but i could hear your voice saying every word of the letter you wrote to me like i'd only seen you yesterday. it made my heart swell to read the letter. it felt undeniably good to hold it in my two hands and know that you'd taken the time to send me a letter after all this time. it just reminded me how in love with you i am, which is hard because i feel like i'm just getting my hopes up for nothing.

maybe that's reason number ten: i loved you too much

it looks stupid on the page. i want to scribble it out, but i cant. i promised you that i'd be honest with you from now on and that's a promise i'm going to stick to.

to explain reason number ten, also known as the stupid reason, i would like to remind you of all the times i held onto you like i was drowning. for example, when we were out i always had to be holding your hand or hand your arm over my shoulders or around my waist.

it was the simple things that made me happy, but then when they gradually stopped i noticed. you didn't seem to notice. you didn't do it on purpose. but i noticed because i loved you so much that i was scared to lose you, harry. i hope you understand that from this jumble of letters and punctuation.

so when i walked in on you cheating with me it felt as if everything collapsed in on me. like you'd let me go and i was drowning all over again.

i'm sorry for accusing you of cheating multiple times. maybe i was just trying to make it hurt less by telling myself that i knew it all the long. that's me in a nutshell, isn't it? loving to know everything. i always think i'm the smartest there's ever been, but really i'm not. i'm still a dumb, love struck kid with nothing better to do than write to an ex.

i don't know what to say anymore.

love, marnie x

p.s. i wanted to marry you too...