Nerdy Girl Is Not So Nerdy [EDITING]

TEN

(edited) --> Don't forget to vote by pressing the little star. Thank you <3

Dylan's POV

Fuck. Me. How the hell does he know I've been to the cinema with Melanie? I feel like this ain't a good thing.

I close the door to my bedroom and I'm stressing out and don't even know why.

I feel like I'm spending more time with her than I am with them, and now that I'm thinking about it I haven't hung out with them properly since the day Michael threw the little party.

I sigh.

This is so wrong. I'm not even up to date with them.

I haven't seen the boys outside of school times. I haven't asked Michael about his little sister, last time I spoke to him, she was getting expelled. 

Then there's grumpy Alex, always something to be grumpy about, gotta give him a solid pass since his parents are in the middle of a divorce, I haven't even asked how he's holding up with all of it.

I'm a shitty friend.

And I'm selfish.

I know I need a scholarship, but it's not like I've suddenly lost the ability to speak.

I'm so fucking mad at myself. I haven't spoken to any of them...

But it's not like I'm doing it on purpose right? Not like I don't want to hang out with them, I do, it's just I want to put my education first for the first time in my life and that ain't a bad thing and the fact that she's only helping me and we ain't doing anything else other than studying isn't their business to talk or think about.

I can't help but wonder what Michael must be thinking right now. He saw me with her. I haven't said anything about studying. I haven't said anything about a girl. They're just assuming I'm fucking another girl, that's why I'm not spending any time with them and my mind is all fucked up.

I always go into one of those phases where I find a girl who wants to have fun just as much as I do and we become friends-with-benefits of sort and I close myself off.

This isn't one of those phases because Melanie is nothing like that.

All this thinking is making my head fuzzy. Without second thought, I plug my earphone into the bottom of my phone, dialling Melanie's number.

"Hey Dylan what's up?" Her voice comes out into my ears.

I start walking from one side of the room to the other, "Um hey Mel. I just wanted to talk, hope you don't mind."

"No of course not, why would I? Has something happened?" her voice is soft.

"I just don't know if uh- if I... Michael saw us today." I spit out, trying not to beat around the bush.

"Oh-kay?" her voice cracks, like she doesn't understand.

"I feel like I'm not as close to them as I used to be."

"Oh. Well..." she tries to think of words, but none are coming to her mouth. 

I hear a soft  sigh before her voice returns, "Dylan I can't force you to study, you have to want that for yourself." she says.

"No, I know that-"

"Well if you know that, then why is it so hard for you to make the decision?"

I sigh, I don't know what's wrong with me. I know she's right but I also feel guilty for lying to my friends, maybe Michael is right.

There was a moment of silence because she was waiting for my response, but I don't know what to say. "I guess I don't want to make the decision between you and my friends."

Another sigh, "Dylan this was never going to be about you having to choose between anyone other than passing and getting to play football and getting that scholarship. Your friends don't have to worry about me, I'm not stealing you away from them. I'm just your study tutor and nothing else, right?"

I don't know why and how the last words could've hurt me but they did and as much as I don't want to admit, I'm getting used to her honesty and weirdness. I like the fact that she's the only one who believes in me when actually she should be the last one on the list to believe in me. For some strange reason I didn't like what she said, I wanted to hear how she says 'we are friends Dylan' and not 'I'm just a study tutor, nothing else'.

"...Yeah, right." I said in a soft quiet voice

The line goes silent for a while before her voice fills my ears once again, "I have to go Dylan, my mom wants me downstairs, but I'll see you Monday?"

"Yeah, for sure. Goodnight Melanie." I end the phone call.

Maybe it's time to come clean to my friends about failing subjects.