In the shadows(Larry Stylinson)✔️

13

Louis

Soft lips.

He taste like coffee and vanilla. He's warm, he's safe... he's home. There is something so comforting with the way his lips seem to fit perfect on top of mine. I can taste the salt from my tears... I don't want to be sad.

I want to be happy. I want to be happy right now. I am happy right now.

I want to save this moment and take it out whenever I feel sad.

Those lips makes my mind go blank. All bad feelings. All bad memories. Everything sad.

All I can think of is the feeling of his lips against mine, the feeling of being safe. The feeling of belonging somewhere.

The cold is biting on my face and my hands but I don't care because I feel like I'm on fire. Like he lit my whole body on fire by just pressing his lips softly against mine.

I know people would describe it at cashing his lips in to mine... but no he didn't crash them in to mine, he softly pressed them against mine to blend us together. Like colors. We are colors and when we kiss we paint. We paint the pain away.

He kiss the pain away. The pain that have been hurting me for two years now. By just pressing his lips against mine he takes it all away, nothing is there just the moment. Just this moment.

No tongue just him gently pressing his lips against mine. It's like in the movies, that when they kiss nothing else matters. When we kiss nothing else matters.

It's not a long kiss it's more like his just pressing his lips against mine, but it's perfect. It's more than perfect.

When the kiss ends we just stand there in silence looking at each other. It's not until I realize that Harry's lips is turning a little purple that I notice that his jacket isn't on him it's in his hand.

"Come on put that jacket on and then we will walk inside so you don't freeze to death." I say and pulls my hand up to my face to rub away the feeling of tears, it's a little hard when the trails of water from my tears have frozen in the cold.

Harry laughs a little but I can see that he is freezing really bad because of how his teeth are hitting each other in fast pace.

"The cold don't really bother me right now." Harry laughs out a little but does as I say and put on his jacket and we walk together to the café where I left half a cup of tea... not that I was planning on drinking it in the first place because it taste like shit and I only wanted to cup to warm my hands... I am a horrible person.

We walk in silence and the only think that's heard is Harry's teeth, it's kind of weird how we ended up here.

I am so lost in my own mind that I almost get scared when I hand grabs mine... almost. The feeling of Harry's hand around mine makes it feel safe and makes me feel safe. I feel safe with Harry. Nothing can hurt me now.

"I want to take you out." Harry says when he opens the door for me to the café and I look up at the younger boy... he's just a boy with a dorky smile... but I guess I'm just a boy who's a little broken.

"I would like that... a lot."

Harry

Closing the door quietly behind me to not wake my mother up. I know I am later than I thought I would be home.

The time is almost 3am and I feel kind of horrible because I know Louis have to be up in 3 hours, he will probably not even sleep and that makes me feel a little guilty.

"HARRY?!" I look up at my brother standing in the doorway of my room... why is he here? Why isn't he in Denmark?

"Why are you here?" I ask him surprised and he looks at me like I just asked the most stupid thing on earth... well excuse me.

"What the hell!! How do you think I feel when mom calls and saying you just left at 9pm at a school night? Do you really think I will just stay in Denmark? Whatever could have happened to you. This is not you!" He says and he looks so angry and I don't know why...

Eric always went out at night before he got super famous, I am no different from him right now.

"I was just out." I say and pull off my jacket... or Louis jacket to be exact... He decided that we should switch because his is warmer than mine and I basically almost froze to death tonight.

"No don't you dare act like that with me! I took a fucking plane after the concert straight over here because of how worried mom and I was!" I says or almost yells at me and I feel like I'm being attacked... mom have never cared before about me sneaking out. She only called Eric because I left when she said I couldn't.

"She wasn't worried. She have never been when I'm out." I mumble and pull the jacket to my chest, it almost as if Louis is here with me right now. Like he's here in spirit with me... that sounded almost like his dead which he isn't.

"Don't say that she worry about you." I know he will be gone when I wake up. He can't stay he have to tour.

"I'm going to sleep." I say and just walk past him, he tries to talk to me but I don't want to listen. I don't want to listen to how bad it was that I went out. It wasn't bad, I kissed Louis... I'm going out with Louis.

"Don't walk away from me when I talk to you. This behavior isn't you!" he says and I turn around and look at him... he looks so weird. I miss the old Eric, I miss the brown curls and the sweatpants.

Now all I see is the short overly styled hair with way too much blond in it. And those skinny jeans, like seriously it's 3am go change.

"Of course it's not me. Because I'm unhappy and sad, I think about killing myself. But me sneaking out to feel happy to feel alive that's not me. I'm so done with trying to be the good person. I'm so tired of always being in your shadows, for once someone doesn't care about you... For once they care about me and my feelings. So please get off my back and go back to your tour, it's what you're supposed to do not going around and dad me. You are my brother not my dad!" I say angrily before I close the door to my room.

I am so tired of always being put in the shadows and being expected to do everything for everyone and when I finally do something for me... I'm the bad guy... this isn't what I want. I want a normal life.. I want to be able to live without pain...

But more than I want to live without pain... I want Louis to live without pain. I would take all the pain away if I could. I would take it away in an instant. I would take it all if he didn't have to.

I wish I could take his pain so he didn't have to have it.

He might be older than me but he is so fragile that he might break if something happens... I don't want him to break, I want to fix him.

I want him to be strong, so strong that one day he won't need me... so one day I will have to be there just for the sake of him wanting me around.... I don't want him to depend on me... I want him to want to be with me and not need to be with me.

Want and need is two very different things but people often mix them up.