BEASTLY

xvi. making deals

Starting with the next chapter is when the good stuff begins. Hang in there, kids.

Mitch Grassi

The night sky was quite brisk and windy, hitting my hood-less, bald head, sending a chill straight down to my toes. I'd left the poetry slam rather quickly, realizing that if I stayed any longer I might let something slip. But I wish I had stayed. The building I'd managed to stumble upon housed many good, new memories for me, but I had to get away. This life wasn't meant for me, making friends and mingling with people, and definitely not with Scott Hoying. And it's not even that he's a bad guy, which he is the complete opposite. He's everything I wish I could be. He's kind, genuine, real, special... And handsome. But at this point his looks were the last thing on my radar, especially since he talked to me despite my own looks.

I'm not handsome anymore. I'm not pretty. Pretty people, even in skeleton masks, should never talk to death. Death typically results in a bad ending, and I know he experienced that firsthand with his mother. At least we had one thing in common.

-.-.-.-.-

My curiosity brought me back to The Nuyorican Poets Cafe almost every weekend through December. At first I went for myself, seeking out words of wisdom from whoever stood on stage. Many of these poets truly had lived life, bleeding every breath into their stories. They weren't reading poetry... They were reading stories about how they've lived, or what lives they wish they had if they'd taken another route. Stories of old and new, of good and bad.

And then there was Scott. I had never realized how much trouble he had in his life, mostly because I never bothered to dig beneath the surface. He wasn't my main reason at first for returning to the Cafe, but he was damn quick to become that exact reason. He was just... Interesting. And he had so many things going on in his life that he made my problem seem minuscule; we'll that's at least what I'd gathered from his stories. His poetry.

I'd gathered that he missed his mother. She'd left him at a young age, but not like how my mother left. She truly left. And he and his father were her survivors, yet most days his father was hardly even surviving with how he chose to live his life. Yet somehow he still cares for his son. He still got him everything he needed and raised him to be an outstanding young man, though they passed by with the bare minimum.

I, on the other hand, lived a good, wealthy life. I've wanted for nothing material. Anything I wanted would be right at my doorstep. I wanted a sphinx kitten for my birthday about three years ago and he was delivered straight to my door with a note from "Dear Ol' Dad." Wyatt Blue has given me more love than "Dear Ol' Dad" has given me in a fortnight.

But Scott gave me a different perspective. Maybe, just maybe, I'd be okay. Out of all the shitty things to happen in life I would be okay. I wanted for nothing now. I had Avi, my friend. My mentor. He needed eyesight. He has lived without it for so long and I have barely lived without beauty, so nothing I complain about is anywhere near comparison to what he's lived through. And Naomi, my current motherly figure. All she wants to do is bear a child. This is something she's dreamed about since she was young and understood about babies, and her womb is incapable of housing her own. The least I could do this far was offer her my love. She's been a great substitute for my mother who I hadn't seen since I was nine. She'd just left all of the sudden, unable to tolerate Mike. It's been nearly nine years since she left and I still can't muster up enough courage to leave, too. Though I wouldn't be leaving my son behind... She must have missed that mark when she decided to live a new life. She wouldn't have her husband, nor would she have me.

I doubt she'd want me anyway, though I can't help but think life would be different if she'd still been around.

So, I got an idea after a beautiful night of poetry. It was quite an interesting idea, and the more and more I thought about it, the more my Japanese Cherry Blossoms itched on my wrist, almost as if they were burning straight through my skin. I walked through the city, losing myself in the vastness of it all. I found a dark alleyway and knew it was something dangerous, but I needed some place quiet and secluded for what I was about to do. I cleared my throat and wondered how to go about this. I knew the witch was easy to call. She'd come if I asked her to, especially since my life is in her hands. She made me this way and the least she could do was help me with a compromise.

Just as I opened my mouth to call out into the night sky, a beautifully eerie voice broke through the night, nearly starling me to death. "So, you want to make a deal with the devil?" I spun around, seeing her standing in, well, a sexy devil costume.

"You're not funny, Kirstin." I rolled my eyes and leaned against the wall, bracing myself from the shock she'd thrown at me. "But, uh, yes. I want to make you a deal."

"I'm not extending your time, if that's what you want. A deal is a deal. Twelve months."

"I want you to shorten it." Now she seemed interested.

"Well, it doesn't seem like you're getting any closer to finding true love. What's making you want to shorten your time? Just want to confirm your face as reality that badly?" She seemed amused, almost as if she really, truly didn't care. She probably didn't. For all I knew, she had made deals with tons of people like me. I should ask her and find somebody she changed and fall in love with them. That'll probably cause her to obliterate and... no. Stick to the plan.

I thought about Naomi and Avi. "I want you to shorten my time by however long you want, only if you trade that time and benefit my friends lives." She hummed in amusement and I continued. "I want you to restore Avriel Kaplan's eyesight and make Naomi Samilton fertile again. Please. I'll do whatever you want. Shorten my time to tomorrow. I don't even care. Just... give them their desires."

The devil laughed and crossed her arms. "Wow, showing signs of grace already. There is some hope left in you."

"Will you do it? Please." I wasn't seeking out games. I honestly wanted this more for my friends. I wanted their lives to be better. I could make due. I didn't see how, but I really could make due. Somehow.

"Nine months." She looked at her fingernails and examined them carefully before blowing at them like she'd just painted them. Ironically I watched as her nail color changed from red to black. Magic. I opened my mouth to ask if that was the amount of time she was going to give me, but she continued. "Did you know that it takes nine months to create a monster?"

"You mean a child?"

"Yeah. Why on earth does your friend want a child? They're nothing but trouble. And why the hell would you want to see the disgusting things of this world? Isn't it better to just go blindly?" Was she testing me? Did she want me to turn back on my deal? I wanted to benefit them. This is what they wanted... no, needed.

"I don't think you get it, witch. A child is the furthest thing from a monster. It's a perfect and beautiful gift. It's a way to share yourself with the world once you've passed on in life. Someone to help you grow and learn more about yourself, simultaneously teaching them the beautiful things about this planet. Beautiful things that you need to see to experience. And, sure, you can experience beauty without seeing it, but I don't want Avi to go another day without being able to see pictures of his family, or to see me and be utterly repulsed. I'm not as important as they are. These people are my family, and I want to give them everything to my nothing. Give them what they deserve. I've already earned what I deserved."

She shrugged. "Nine months."

"I don't want t--"

"Shut up and let me finish." I zipped my mouth shut. "You've got until the end of May to find someone to change you. But, here's the catch. You have to find somebody to love you before I can grant either of those things to your friends. A deal is a deal."

"Bu--"

"A deal. Is. A. Deal." She walked back into the night, down the dark alleyway. She continued until the shadows engulfed her. And then she was gone.

This isn't wasn't what I wanted when I made this deal. I was agreeing for her to give them these things precious to their life in return for me staying this way, and cutting my timeline short. Now my time was shortened and their lives would still be the same. I guarantee you no one wants this face... I've had many times in my life to prove that no one even wants the face I had before.

I screamed out into the night sky, yelling at nothing, frustration spilling off of my tongue.