eighteen•

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The days following the turn were horrible. I felt like crap, and I know I treated Lexa like garbage. She was telling me everything I needed to know about being a vampire and it felt like I was never going to know everything. It took till about the fourth day that things started to become normal again. The pain of the turn is finally starting to fade and my hormones are returning to somewhat normal levels.

One thing I haven't done yet was feed off of Lexa. She said that once a soul mate is turned that they feed off of each other. Lexa has given me blood but I don't know if it's from her. I still find it kind of gross that I'm drinking blood but I know I have to do it to survive. But I guess that's something I'm going to have to get used too.

Right now it's the beginning of day 5 since the turn. Lexa decided that we are going to stay for an extra two days because I need more help with my turn. Speaking of Lexa every morning when I get up she isn't sleeping next to me. The night before we always end up going to sleep next to each other but when I wake up the next morning she isn't in bed.

Today is no different. I sighed and sat up looking around. That's when I jumped; sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the room is Lexa. Her face is nose deep in a book and I can tell that whatever is in the book is important. I got up out of bed and walked over to the chair.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Political stuff I need to deal with my half-sister." Lexa said and closed her book.

She put her book down and looked up at me. When she did I crawled into her arms, wanting her warmth. Lexa held me tight and I put my head in her neck.

"Why haven't I fed from you yet?" I asked.

"You will love, just not now, you're still young. Soon though you need to build up your strength first." She said.

I didn't say anything else just nodded and ended up falling asleep again against Lexa. When I woke up again I was still in Lexa's arms. Her hand is running through my hair and everything is so peaceful. I wish that it would always be like this. I gave Lexa's neck a kiss letting her know I was away before pulling away from her.

"So what happens when we go back?" I asked.

"Delma and Myka are setting up everything. Once I get back home I will confront my half-sister. Mostly all of the people in my country don't want her to rule. So this should be an easy takeover. When I get to the castle my trusted men will help me over throw it and remove my half-sister from power." Lexa explained.

"Where will I be during all of this?" I asked.

"With Luna and Delma at our house. They will protect you and Krista at all costs." Lexa said.

"And you will come back to me right?" I asked.

During this coupe, if something goes wrong then Lexa can die. She can die and I will die with her. It's that simple; if Lexa is killed there will be nothing anybody can do that will make me stay here without her. I didn't do anything but pull her into me. I can't lose her.

For the rest of the day Lexa taught me all about feeding. How to curb your hunger, how to use it to your advantage, and how to manage without feeding for a long time. For what she explained it was like teaching a lifetime of information in about a few hours. But finally at the end of the day she taught me about how to use my fangs.

By that I mean she finally let me feed off of her. I barely had any blood because it took me a minute to find her vein and even when I hit it I could barely get anybody from her. After my fangs retracted from Lexa's neck I felt disappointed in myself that I couldn't do it on the first try. Lexa reassured me that it's okay though.

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