His Game

Chapter 23: Elsa

"Jack... " I say, my voice trembling we approach the door. "I'm scared. However, I want you to know that I love you. And that if this doesn't go well, I'm prepared to leave this house and start over with you." 

Jack smiles at me. "I'm glad to hear it, Sweetheart, but don't feel pressured to leave your family behind. No one should have to do that."

"No, I've made up my mind. Papa can accept it and get on with his life, or he can obsess over it for years until he goes crazy. Final decision."

"I love you. You're being really brave, you know that?" Jack tells me.

"Thanks, Love. Wait out here and if this goes over smoothly, I'll come get you. If not... "

"Hiccup's waiting in the van to get us out of here. Deal?"

"Deal."

I give Jack  a wave and clasp my hands to keep them from shaking. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.  Papa's almost getting what he deserved. He threw Jack's jacket into the fire, destroying all he had left of his father. Who could be so cruel?

Opening the door, I hold my head high and march back into the room. Mama and Papa are both standing there. Papa looks angry and Mama looks worried and exasperated. Are they fighting? I have never seen them fight before.

"Elsa, where is Jack?" Papa demands, crossing the room stiffly. "He has no business just walking- "

I can do this. I can be cold. I can be firm.

"Yes, he does. That was his father's jacket." I say. Mama looks startled, her hands covering her mouth.

Papa is also slightly surprised, but recovers quickly. "Get him in here, now. He and I are going to have a serious talk."

Shaking my head, I say, "No, Papa, you and I are instead."

The room goes very quiet. Both of parents have wide eyes, and I hear a familiar scuffling outside the door that tells me Anna is eavesdropping on our conversation.

"Don't talk to your father that way- " Mama starts to say, but I interrupt.

"I'm sixteen years old. I have a voice, and I intend to use it. What I don't intend to do is spend the rest of my life in this house, studying, being proper, and learning all so that I can run our company. Let Anna do that, because I'm not interested." I say.

"Stop this behavior instantly. Go to your room, and don't come out until you are thinking reasonably!" Papa snaps.

"No." This is getting easier for me as I go on. "I won't. All of my life, I've done what you told me, and lived how you wanted me to. I don't have any views of the world that are mine, only yours! Since Jack came here, I've been to a pub. Yes, Mama, a pub. It was amazing. I met Hiccup and Astrid and Rapunzel and tons of other people. I've tasted alcohol and I've been drunk."

Mama nearly bursts into tears. I struggle to keep my voice steady, clenching my fists.

"I've seen a movie for the first time. I've been able to actually hang out with people other than my family and the maids. I've had the best fun of my life, and all of this was behind your backs and against every rule you've ever made! I realize something now. You guys don't want me to live. You want me to have a life, but you don't want me to live." I say.

"Of course we do!" Mama gasps.

I tilt my head so they can see. "Tonight, I got my ears pierced. It was fun. Jack and my other friends were there, too. It didn't even hurt. I like them and I think they're pretty. This is what I want. I want to have my ears pierced, and I want to go to parties and pubs, and I want to hang out with friends! Maybe not get drunk or drink anymore, but I still want to have fun! This is the life I never knew I wanted."

"STOP THIS INSTANTLY!" Papa roars.

"NO! ARE YOU MY FATHER OR MY JAILER? I'VE SPENT SO MUCH OF MY TIME BEING AFRAID TO SAY OPINION BECAUSE OF YOU! LET ME F*CKING FINISH TALKING, DAD!" I shriek back. 

A tear rolls down Mama's cheek, and the firelight dances. "Elsa... " She whispers.

"I have a boyfriend. I love him so much. He can draw. He likes to laugh and have fun. He misses his sister and wants his dad back. He showed me how to live. Jack taught me that it's okay to be someone other than who everyone else wants you to be." I say, as if I had never been interrupted. "This is my life now. Learn to accept it, or I'm leaving."

Anna bursts into the room, her face streaked with tears. "Don't go, Elsa, don't go!"

I look away from her, my heart shattering like glass. "Mama? Papa?"

Papa closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them again. "I can't accept this from you, daughter. I encourage you to change your mind before severing ties with our family."

Smiling softly, I look each family member in the eyes. "I'm going to go pack, and then I'll come say goodbye before I leave with Jack."

With that, I walk from the room, feeling triumphant but broken all the same.

There isn't much for me to pack. I don't want any of my old clothes, because I don't want to wear them. I'm not prude or stiff. I just pack some shirts, thinking maybe I can cut the collar off or something, and throw them in a plastic bag along with a picture of my family. That's all I'm bringing.

The door opens, and Mama comes into my room. Wordlessly, she pulls me into a hug.

"You are strong, Elsa, and I admire you for that." She hands me an old box.

I open it and gasp. There are black T-shirts with 90's bands, ripped skinny jeans, beanies, and silver and black jewelry, along with makeup. Leather boots and sunglasses complete it all.

"Mama, what...?"

"I had a life before I married your father. I was someone else entirely."

"These were yours?"

"Not all of them are in style, but they'll do." Mama starts to cry again. "Please don't go. We'll let you have more freedom. You don't have to study as much. Papa'll be less strict. Don't choose the path I chose when I was your age."

I kiss Mama's cheek. "That's the thing, Mama. We're not like the other people, sticking to one road or path. We carve our own."

I threw the plastic bag on the ground and pick up the box, carrying it downstairs. Mama sobs and hugs me again. Papa only watches me coldly, and I don't approach him. Anna is a crying mess, weeping and wailing and begging.

"Stay, Elsa, stay with me. I can't live here without you!" She grabs onto my sleeve.

"I'll call you. I'll visit. I'm not leaving forever." I say. I give my sister a hug, and she holds onto me tightly. "I love you, sis."

"Love you too," she mumbles.

I nod to Papa and walk outside. Anna follows me to the porch, still crying, waving and screaming things like, "I'll miss you! I love you! Call me! I want to visit! Don't go! I miss you already!"

Hiccup sees them and raises his eyebrows at me, taking the box from my hands. Jack smiles almost sadly and kisses me, picking me up and carrying me to the car on his back. 

Can I do this? Am I strong enough?

As the car pulls out of the drive way, I allow myself a small grin and raise my middle finger out the window, directing it at my farther.

I can.