A Love Like Ours

Chapter 2

I was too exposed.

The nerves had been unfolding in my chest the whole car ride over, unfurling themselves from their curls and twists to stretch and reach as far as they could. Now, it felt like they took up every inch of free space in my body.

I tried to stay small. Hidden in the back. But there weren't as many people in the church as I would've liked, and even though I was in one of the last rows, there weren't enough people filling up the spaces around me—in front or in the back. So, I stayed sitting, hoping no one would take notice of the bachelor with the all-too recognizable face sitting alone in one of the back pews.

Someone was playing the organ in the choir loft, soft music that no one else really seemed to notice. Everyone spoke over it like they couldn't even hear it. I didn't know the people around me, but I was sitting on the bride's side, so I knew they were either friends or relatives of Emily. But sitting here also meant I had a perfect view of the groom's side, and I'd already seen Michelle Freeman.

She'd taken no notice of me, though. She was busy enough chatting with everyone who'd gathered to see her son get married. And, as always, she looked happy to be interacting with them, especially considering the fact that she was one of the focal points of today's festivities, being the proud mother of the groom and all that.

But more than that, she looked happy. A healthy happy. A beautiful happy. Her gold dress caught the streaks of lighter brown in her hair, which framed her face in elegant curls. She had always been a put-together woman, but I'd never seen her look so made up. She laughed then, and not for the first time (but the first time in a while), I could see the echoes of her daughter in her smile.

My heart leapt up into my throat as Will walked up to her—a little thicker around the middle now, but looking generally the same—with a baby girl in his arms, who was staring at her grandmother with wide blue eyes.

Just like Madelyn's, I thought with a stab of pain or pleasure... I wasn't entirely sure.

She was at least two years old now, and looked just like her mother and older sister, with hints of the Freeman side sprinkled in. The baby reached for her grandmother as Will leaned over, and Michelle took her from his arms with a great big smile for her newest granddaughter.

Will straightened his jacket, smoothing over the bumps and ridges of it before heading straight for the altar. Michelle bopped the baby up and down in her arms as she spoke with more people offering their congratulations. And I tried to keep myself calm. Tried to keep myself confident. But seeing her family after so long only served as a reminder of all that I'd lost when I lost her. And all that I stood to gain back if today went as well as I hoped it would.

Jenny walked up the aisle then, trailing the steps of another little girl with long, curled blonde hair in a pretty pale pink dress. My heart stuttered again as I stared at Lilly, who was no longer the little girl I'd known. Her cheeks had thinned out, she'd grown at least a whole foot taller, and her eyes had become more aware, like she now understood more of the world, and as a result, was more wary of it. She and Jenny only spoke with Michelle for a moment as Michelle handed the baby over to Jenny. Then Michelle stood watch at the top of the aisle as Lilly rushed to the back of the church again, wind catching her hair as she flew back up the aisle.

I tried to keep my gaze down, afraid that if I stared, Michelle would somehow sense it and catch sight of me. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her or talk to her—I knew they'd realize I was here sooner or later. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted Madelyn to be the first to know I was here. Wanted to speak to her before I had to face her family. Because as hopeful as I was, I didn't know what would happen, and I didn't want to see the pity in their eyes any sooner than I had to. But when Lilly had passed, and I finally looked up again, Michelle was fully committed to making the baby in Jenny's arms smile, and I swore I could hear her voice carry over the swell of sounds in the church.