A Love Like Ours

Chapter 31

My feet and fingers were frozen, and my nose felt like it might fall off at any second, but I was still fearful of going back to the hotel. Fearful in an excited way, though—like a pivotal decision was to be made, and that decision would either make or break me, so I wanted the anticipation to last.

It was true, in a sense. I'd left Mads behind in my hotel room with an iPod holding all the songs I'd carefully selected for my next album. I wasn't set on any of them yet, but they were the ones I liked most—the ones that told a story. Our story. And she was listening to it.

I couldn't stay in the room with her while she listened though, and when I'd told her as much, her eyes had gone wide.

"Why not?" she'd asked, sitting on my bed with the little iPod clutched in her hand.

I'd backed away quickly, afraid if I didn't, I'd snatch it back. "Because I can't. That's all."

"But it's me," she said with a laugh. "It's just me."

"Just you," I repeated under my breath. "Just you, are you mental?"

Her smile fell a bit, but mine only grew. Still afraid I might lose my nerve and grab the iPod away from her, I kept my hands in my pockets as I bent to kiss her, her lips soft on mine.

"Mads," I said, needing one hand to touch the side of her face. "You're the one person I'm most nervous about sharing this with."

Her entire face fell, and I realized my mistake—how that could be taken. How she was clearly taking it.

"Well, that makes me feel better about it," she said, sarcasm evident in her tone.

"No, you silly girl," I said, a little amused, but still mostly nervous as I lifted her chin. "I just mean that you're among the few, very important people in my life whose input I value most. I want you to like it, but I also want your honest opinion. And of course," I pecked her lips again, "it doesn't hurt that much of it was inspired by you."

Mads forced a grimace that quickly turned into a blushing smile. "Uh-oh."

I chuckled, and ran my knuckle quickly along the soft skin of her jaw. "I'll say this for you," I backed up again, reaching for my scarf, "you gave me a lot to work with for this one."

"Are you trying to talk me out of listening?" she said, her sarcasm evident once more. She was unraveling the headphones from around the small iPod, and something felt like it was unfurling in my stomach simultaneously. I edged closer to the door. "And why are you in such a rush to leave? Would've thought you'd rather see my reaction."

"Absolutely not," I said, tugging my coat on as well. "It's not just you, Mads. I wouldn't want to be in the same room with anyone who's listening to it for the first time. It's too personal—for me and for them. It's like... like letting people see into the darkest corners of my brain."

"But I'm not people," Mads said, grinning at me from the bed. The iPod fell to the mattress for a moment as she kneeled, smiling at me. "Don't go, c'mon, you're leaving tomorrow. I'll lock myself in the bathroom if you want."

I grinned, and walked closer to her again, wrapping my arms around her waist as I kissed her. Her eyes were unfocused when I pulled away. "I want you to listen to it in its entirety, without stopping, without distractions." She sighed, her breath hitting my lips, her hands falling to grip the lapels of my coat. "Me, included."

She looked up at me through her lashes, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout. "Fine."

"Thank you," I'd said, pecking those lips once more. "I'll be back in an hour." Nerves had been filling my stomach from the moment I took the iPod out of my bag and told her what was on it, but to watch her pick it up again, to watch her take one headphone into each hand, to watch her watch me leaving with a gentle, encouraging smile on her face—my stomach was in knots. "Please don't hate it."