Genre: Fantasy/Teen Fiction
Author: deathlover48
THE TITLE:
My first thought was, "K, what's with all the letters and numbers?" but, thank goodness, it all makes sense once you read the first chapter. Well, at least the letters and numbers do. I'm not so sure about the whole "Prince of Tehiria" thing yet, but that's alright, because it's obviously (hopefully) going to be explained later on in the story.
THE COVER:
The cover is super well done and seems to fit the story perfectly. Gets me in the mood for some fantastical adventures. And I like that we get to see the two main characters seemingly separated by the mysterious fabric of the interwebs. Most importantly, it displays the title and the author clearly and artistically. Good one!
THE BLURB:
Overall, I think your blurb is good. I like that you included at tiny part of the story, without shoving a big block of text that you pulled from the story at random, which seems to happen way too often in Wattpad blurbs, if ya know what I mean. Your brief description of Miya instantly got me interested in her as a character. The only negative thing I have to say is that it starts to get confusing when you begin naming off other characters, which you haven't properly introduced yet. But I like that your blurb isn't too long, and it gets to the point without giving too much away about the story. It's significantly better than most blurbs I come across on this site, and does its job properly by getting me interested in the story.
THE FIRST PART:
I read: Chapter 1: The Stranger on the Net
First impression: BAM! Awesome grammar, awesome editing, and awesomely witty. Right away, I have an idea of what kind of character Miya William (Is this her middle name? Not sure, but if it is, I like it.) Parkers is. She's a girl with a great, sassy inner-monologue and that's the kind of character that makes me want to read more.
And, can I just say, you give the most perfect description of the Internet I may have ever read?
Anyways, you do have quite an interesting and unique writing style. It took me a moment to get into the rhythm of it, but it didn't end up distracting me from the story.
The one thing that bothered me a little is you go straight from explaining how she met her best friend, Angela, to throwing us into the chat with the Stranger. It's not a life-threatening problem to your story by any means, but I feel like you could find a way to maybe make this part flow a little better.
I got through this chapter quickly, which was a good sign! I didn't have to force myself to read all the way through it, so hurray for you.
THE RATING: *HOOKED*
Congrats! You passed as my first review! I'm so glad that we're off to a positive start, and that I didn't have to tear your story to shreds. Thanks for being a good writer and giving me a great story to read!
YOU ARE READING
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